Grey
by KyoSohmaLuver
Summary: I wonder if I’d die if I were to get too far behind. I wonder...I wonder if anyone would look back at me if I were to scream. If I were to call out as my life started to crumble under my feet. Would you look? AkuRoku, angst, yaoi
1. Grey, Chapter 1

_Okay, just starting off with the usual: This game, characters, everything and in between...it isn't mine. _

_Hell, this story is barely mine. I took this story from a one-shot by Musician In The Making, in her AkuRoku shorts. She gave me permission, so I hope I won't get yelled at. So, give rights to this story to her. XP  
_

_Been a long time, huh? Since I've really done much of anything. I might update more of my stories, I'm working on some more. I hope you like this story as well. _

--

Grey, chapter 1/6

"Sorry to bother you, but would you mind helping me?"

The question hit my ears as my mp3 player switched songs making my look up at some one I had never seen before.

Someone with plenty of color.

Vivid and untamed red hair spiked back without gel, something I thought only my blond hair could do. Bright green eyes danced with a hidden fire behind them; a passion for something I didn't know of. The man's clear complexion seemed pale as two dark tattoos rested under his eyes, which amplified the intensity of his eyes. He was taller then me by a head at most, clad in mostly black which contracted with the colors he already had.

"Oh, my name's Axel by the way. A-X-E-L. Yours is…?"

"Roxas." I replied, turning off my supply of music before offering to shake the other's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Roxas. I just moved a few houses down and was wondering if you could show me around. You're the only person I've seen so far actually leave their house past the drive way."

"…No problem."

…

I fear that he's going to eat me, that infixing smile on his face almost predatory. He has his hands on his hips as the spring air ruffled his hair. His eyes held that happy-go-lucky gleam, and I knew then that he had to be older than me.

"Come with me." He took my elbow and led me down the cracked walk. It was still a little walk to his house, since he'd walked down to mine after seeing me.

His house was big. It was just on the corner, exactly five houses down from mine. It had two stories and a basement. The house was covered in ivy, crawling like worms up the side, and the windows were groaning away from the plant like they didn't want it there. It was one of those old fashioned house, that had three peaks at the top, and the one facing toward the street had a small door and balcony. The front yard was just a plain lawn…but the grass was so green it almost hurt my eyes.

"My parents are helping me move." Axel pulled me up the looping way to the door from the sidewalk. I couldn't find it in myself to argue with him. He continued talking as he opened the blue door, "Yeah, I just barely moved from their house a couple blocks from here. I already have a roommate, his name Is Xigbar. But you don't want to know that, I'm going to go find my parents."

He walked away, his sneakers squeaking on the hardwood. This place was way too nice, I felt so uncomfortable. The complete hardwood floors told me that they had money…well; of course they had money if he lived in this place. He had real plants too…telling me that he had time, and the parents were actually here for visits a lot or something... Heaven knows that Axel wouldn't water any of them.

My shoes felt dirty, because they must be organized and healthy if they already put up those stupid plants. Some of those cheesy family photos were already up...

I started to sweat, and I could feel myself fighting a loosing battle with wanting to get out of this place.

There was a skylight in the entryway, and directly under it was a bare table. I heard footsteps coming from within the house, and they were loud and confident. The person coming for me was talking in such a voice that I was bolted where I stood, when I so much wanted to run.

"You must be the neighbor boy from a bit down."

He looked so happy, and his hair reminded me so much of Axel already that he had to be his father. The hair was pulled up in a ponytail and few strands were falling in front of his almost blood red and overpowering eyes.

"I'm Gojyo, Axel's father," He smiled and held out his hand while walking for me, "It's nice to meet you. Do you go to the local high school?"

I nodded, but when he reached within a foot I freaked. I turned around and threw open the door.

"Wait, kid!"

I bolted before he could hold me back.

--

"I'm home." The door made a soft click behind me, and no matter what I did I couldn't stop it from sounding. The click it always made, that with the creaking floorboards under the ugly stained carpet.

It was dark here, because one too many light bulbs had broken.

I walked further in, wanting to go to my room and just wait for school tomorrow.

"Roxas."

I looked toward the source of my name, and I saw my mother sitting at the table. I flinched when I saw the paper clenched in her hands. I didn't move, and I just stared, waiting for her to say anything.

Her once bouncy and soft hair was dull and just hanging on her shoulders. She was wearing the tank top she wore yesterday, and the shorts were splattered with mud. She'd tried washing her car yesterday.

The table was creaking against the checkered linoleum, and the walls held a dreary air.

She desperately tried to not sound disappointed, "what did I tell you about doing your homework."

I found it hard to not hear the disappointment there. That whole sentence was disappointment. I nodded without saying a word, but then she looked up at me, "aren't you going to say anything Roxas?"

I feared that if I opened my mouth, I'd say something stupid. I'd said something stupid today when I agreed to show him around, and he probably hated me now because I ditched him.

I…ditched him. Aww, that was just great.

"Gees, Roxas." She looked back down at my report card, running a hand through her hair, "four Ds? Two Fs? You only got an A in art, and the B in History is because the teacher feels sorry for you! What have you been doing?"

I shrugged and she looked at me with those eyes that told me that she really didn't care anymore. She sighed and folded her hands on the table once more, looking at her cracked and withering nails.

"Your father…" She sighed and ran a shaking hand through her hair. Her other hand was slowly wrapping around a coffee mug; her fingers sleek and aging like spider legs. That's the only thing I can compare them too. She laughed a brittle laugh that made a shiver go down my spine, "I don't even want to think about your father. I still need to sign those stupid files he gave me."

I opened my mouth, looking up at her to give her words of support. I was going to say something that would make her feel better, something that might make her act like a real mother, but nothing came from my mouth. It hung open and loose, the words that were supposed to be spoken hanging on the air, and I knew that my mother wanted to hear them.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't say them.

"People moved into the Leonheart's old place." I hesitated, and then looked back down when I saw her sigh and shake her head, looking away from me. Her false hopes of actually having someone comfort her were too high.

"Does it really look like I care Roxas?" She asked with that disdain in her voice that told me that…I don't know what it told me, but I didn't like the sound of it. She sighed again, knowing that she shouldn't use this as an excuse to vent on someone, "Never mind. At least you have a chance to get a friend, right?"

"Right mom."

--

"You ditched me yesterday."

I'd gone back to Axel's house to live up on my promise. I may not be the liveliest of people, but I kept my word when I once in a while gave it to people. He was wearing a navy blue turtleneck shirt, and his jeans were riding low, but I didn't notice. I looked him in the eye and he shrugged, stepping back with the door slightly more ajar, letting me in.

I stepped, made sure to only step in a little, my feet just barely stepping on the side of the doorway so that he could close it.

He laughed, putting his soft hand on the small of my back and pushing me further in, acting as though I were a rabid animal, ready to strike. He was very gentle, but I didn't need gentle.

"At least I came back."

He gave me a smirk, and then turned toward the dreaded table under the skylight and pulled out a chair and sat in it, "I'm not letting you out of my sight today."

"Then why sit?" I asked, not meaning to have the raised eyebrow 'I'm-better-than-you' looks on my face. He laughed out loud at me, and I visibly flinched and looked away.

He tilted his head and smirked, "Nah, I just wanted you to meet someone."

I raised an eyebrow and looked around, seeing nothing but fancy house. This fancy house, just barely noticing this, I felt unease seep into my veins and the horror of being in a house I've just barely seen on the sidewalk. It was horribly terrifying to me. How could he LIVE here?

"Reno!" He lazed back in the chair, his hair flaying over his shoulders, his right foot up on the chair resting where he sat.

Soft pattering steps. Like someone was wearing slippers. There was a skittering turn, like those comical scats they played on TV. No sooner than that sound happened, a fluff of red hair peeked over the corner, the bright blue eyes shining through his bangs and his childish face shining with something that could only be described as happiness. He looked toward his brother with a look that asked him what he called for, then he caught my eyes and I think even AXEL could have seen the blush slide over his cheeks.

"He's in your grade, Reno." Axel looked at me, his foot slipping off the chair and that causing him to stand. His shoes squeaked again. "You're a senior in high school, aren't you?"

I nodded, keeping my hands behind my back, my knuckles turning white. Why did he have to invite more people in here? I took a step back as he moved more forward.

"What's his name? He's cute!" 'Reno' ran for me before I could manage to bolt. He was faster than his father, and he was there standing before me, his long arms around me in a horrifying hug.

No one has hugged me for the hell of it in a long time, and I was so close to hugging him back that my arms were half lifted, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Axel watching us with a raised eyebrow. I let my arms fall back into place, and Reno pushed away.

"What have you been doing to this guy? He looks so sad!" Reno yelled to his brother, his hands on his hips, then he looked back at me regrettably. Not for him, but for me. He put such a soft hand on my cheek, and I just looked at him as he studied me with his eyes, "You probably don't even know our last name."

"Ooh, someone has a crush!" Axel's voice wafted through my thoughts of trying to get away from this strange person. The taller and older man stood and put a hand on his brother's back, then a smile formed on his face, "Reno, you've developed a crush this fast? Remember; don't judge a book by its cover! He may have a pretty face but a horrible personality!"

Oh, that was nice. I rolled my eyes and looked away with a sigh, and to my immediate bad-luck, Axel heard it.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He put a hand over his mouth and put a finger up in the air. Eyes closed, hips tilted, face contorted deep in thought, "Xigbar told me to stop saying things out loud like that."

"Yeah, He's barely spoken any!"

I could feel my thoughts becoming less complicated as I watched them bicker. When I met Axel, that was only yesterday, I explained everything in the back of my mind, I diagnosed everything, I never said anything. I still don't say anything, but watching these two, it's almost as though my life has become a little bit worse, but a little bit looser.

This is the family I've always wanted…

Someone I could bicker with, and not just full on yell.

"And yes, I might have a crush on him."

He didn't even deny it, like any normal person would have. But obviously Reno wasn't a normal person.

The staring all turned to me, and I just stared back. Reno was blushing, and that comparing to his tanned skin and blue eyes was really strange to look at. I liked looking at Axel more.

…

I stared at them, and then just rubbed my right arm with my left hand and looked at them with downcast eyes, "Can we just go?"

"Go where? Where are you going?" Reno was jumping from foot to foot, and his hands clenched at his chest, "Can I go? Can I go with you and Roxas?"

Axel stood slowly, his eyes showing annoyance, "no, what are you thinking?"

"It's not like Roxas would mind, do ya' Roxy?" Reno's baby blue eyes shone and I couldn't answer for the life of me.

Axel stepped casually in front of my sight, blocking me from Reno, and his hand was outstretched, "I think we SHALL leave."

Oh, thank god. I get to leave this house!

I didn't take his hand; I just left him there, walking right to the door and opening it, walking through with a brisk walk. He stared after me, but I kept walking; "You're house is what the people on our block like to call 'The Hefty'."

I heard steps after me, and I continued down the cracked walk. When I reached the sidewalk that had a small metal fence lining, I turned down the way opposite of my house. His house was on the corner, so I turned and walked, looking down the way and seeing few cars coming down the way, out of their driveways, various colors. All the lawns hurt my eyes, but about five houses down was pure strip malls and city. I really hated this place.

"The Hefty?"

"Yeah, the Hefty, because that place is never empty and one family actually painted 'Hefty' on the side of the house. The next people had it painted over." I sighed after this, thinking that at the time that the Hefty's lived there; his family was actually a good one. They had a dog…its name was Sora, but that dog ran away and we'd found it a year later living with another owner. Riku was the owner's name…the dog had taken a strange liking to the man, and I don't think the dog was right in the head.

I shook my head.

"Show me around and tell me of the places."

So I did.

I told him about the Beeter store, with George and Heather Beeter owning a store that sold lamps and sofas. Then past there was another old man that sold fake snow and Christmas ornaments. Klaus Fraggen-whatever owned a thrift shop, and across the street from those two shops were Juice and Geeter (I had a feeling that those weren't their real names) Jeeter, They sold household appliances. Then Quinton George, he was a hard ass that owned a pawnshop. Then there was a run down place that didn't have anything in it. Windows boarded up, tarp over the doorway, holes in said tarp, place so rusted that if you walk within ten feet of it you'll get tetanus, you know, that kind of place.

I didn't take him past that, because that in itself was half a mile with the endless alleys and huge gaps in the walk, so I didn't go past them very often.

So, here we were, walking back to his house, his hands in his pockets. It was slightly raining, and his blue hoodie was over his head, as his smile grew more and more, "You haven't said more than five words in a sentence today."

"So?" I mused, shrugging and looking up at the mournful sky. We were walking past the old and creaking houses, reaching out to us as we past. They were tall and dark against the sky, the ivy growing on them looking like spider webs or fingers trying to crawl from under the houses.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I almost jumped.

"Hey, buddy, why were you all jumpy in the house today?" He stopped me just as I was about to walk past his home, and he kept his hand on the small of my back, his determining and piercing eyes digging into my soul.

I glared at him, "no reason."

"You have to have a reason." Axel leaned in and smirked, looking me in the eye, "No one is scared to death of a house."

I looked at him, and then smacked his hand away and backed up, "It's because I met my father in a huge house like yours."

I walked away before he could even ask what the hell I meant.

--

_Okay, tell me what you think, PLEASE. Becuase, I'm serious here, I won't update if no one is reading this. And don't think 'Oh, it's Fruba, she'll get bored of this story after a while'. NOPE! I've got the ENTIRE thing written already! So, if you want another chapter, I'll continue. _


	2. Grey, Chapter 2

_Hey, peeps. Here's the second chapter, I hope you like it! _

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Grey, chapter 2/6

"Honey."

A hand on my shoulder shook me, waking me from my red dream. I don't know why it was red, but something about that disturbed me.

"Honey, I need you to wake up."

I opened my eyes a little seeing the blurry outline of my frizzy-haired mother. She was looking over me, shaking my shoulder.

"Honey, honey, wake up." She looked at me and pulled me up by the cuff of my shirt. Throwing off my comforter and pulling me to my feet, she pulled me toward the door and out into the hall. The walls were bare, as were my feet, but she kept pushing me towards the stairs, and my stumbling footsteps barely making even a sound.

A careless jacket was thrown over my shoulders and she pushed me out into the cold and frigid spring air, the small and splattering wind rain combination thing, and she just looked at me with pleading eyes when I turned around. She was pulling the jacket around my shoulders and looking at me, not meeting my eyes: "Honey, I need you to go to your new little friends house, alright?"

I backed up as she shut the door, and my feet wouldn't let me move as my eyes kept staring. My feet were moving me backward, and I was walking down the sidewalk and I felt the harsh wind in my hair. Damn, I should stop describing things like I'm writing a stupid novel.

I found myself in front of their door that lead into their stupid and all-too-familiar scary entranceway, and I sighed. I raised a fist and knocked heavily on the door, then finally taking that chance to look at my watch. It was six thirty…someone might be awake. But then again, no one might answer the dreaded blue door.

But someone answered, and it sure as hell wasn't Axel.

"What in the hell?" A man with a gaping scar on his left cheek and a patch over his right eye answered the door, and the very presence of the man made me shiver. His black hair was flaying over his shoulders as he glared at the very sight of me, and he looked just about ready to slam the door in my face, "do you stupid girl scouts sell friggin cookies at this time of day?"

I didn't open my mouth, and I almost couldn't speak. I almost couldn't breath. I just stared at him, and I wanted to turn around and go hide in the run down shop across from Klaus Fraggen-whatever.

That's when familiar spider-like hands slipped from behind the man's waist and wrapped themselves around the man's slightly revealed abdomen. I saw the man draw in breath sharply, and I saw a familiar face, eyes closed, appear on the man's shoulder, resting his chin on the man's shoulder.

"Xig, come back to bed. I thought I told you to ignore the doorbell." Axel murmured into the scary pirates neck, his voice thick and sleep hazed, just as his stance. I wanted to bolt…I just wanted to get away, because I knew I was seeing something that I wasn't supposed to be seeing. Axel…

Lazy and soft green eyes opened and locked onto mine, take a second to register and: "Roxas! What on earth are you doing out there in the rain! You're soaked, get in here!"

I felt that familiar hand on the small of my back, and this time I was forced to walk in further then the entrance way from hell. I was actually forced to go into the living room, which held home to red and black furniture (a nice mix, actually), the walls holding a strange array of dark paintings, a whole wall devoted to surround sound DVD television system.

I was sat on the red couch of the red and black duo. There was a shag red and black checker rug at my feet, just above the hardwood. A wood-framed glass table sat where my eyes were staring, and a glass of milk and a plate of cookies were placed there. I looked up and almost flinched when I saw 'Xig' looking over me, in the full power of his stance.

"Xigbar, you're scaring the poor kid!" Axel took his hands back from setting down the plate, and sat next to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. He was treating me like a child, and I didn't take one of the very good-looking chocolate disks of death. I just kept staring at my hands, and occasionally the shag rug.

"I like the rug." I murmured, my hands wringing into small white traps again.

Axel snorted, me seeing his smile even from here. How could he be smiling? The want for anger seeped into my veins, but he interrupted it with his speech: "Xigbar made the cookies."

I took one.

"What were you doing out there?" He gently took my hand and I saw Xigbar shift from foot to foot in a small act of jealousy near the fireplace.

I took a bite of cookie. It was good, and sadly better than anything my mother had ever baked for me.

"My mom…" I didn't see any point in hiding it. If I didn't get why she did it, when I saw no point in hiding it from anyone, "she pushed me out saying to go to your house."

He sighed and shook his head, looking over my shoulders at his boyfriend. From that little spectacle in the doorway before I just assumed…

"Xigbar, will you grab me a pillow and blanket from the supply closet?"

I looked up at him, my eyes visibly widening. He chuckled and put his hand on my shoulder, "my family has always been nice to people like you."

"Like me?" the growl and malice sifted into my voice. What was 'like me'?  
He smiled and rubbed my shoulder softly with his thumb, "I could tell from the moment I saw you that you were having a tough time."

"And is this you're little form of pity?" Anger. That feeling sifting through my veins, a feeling of hating someone. I never knew that I could hate Axel…the only other person I'd hated was my father, "I'm not a little child that needs a shoulder to cry on. I'm eighteen, you're, what, twenty-two at most? We're only four years apart, and to me, that's not long enough to have comfort age limits. You're not that old, Axel, now stop treating me like I'm that young."

His hair was deep and almost blood color in the darkness of the room. Lightning flashed and Xigbar was standing with a blanket and pillow in his arms. His face wasn't so scary anymore, and this room wasn't as weird.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, Roxas." His saddened eyes locked on mine, and that reminded me too much of my mother. He was disappointed in me, wasn't he? He thought that he made a huge mistake letting me in here, a complete stranger.

"Well." The abruptness of his standing and brushing off his pajama pants made me move further into my seat. He looked at me with that predatory smile and those eyes that wanted to eat me, "you go ahead and eat the rest of those cookies, drink the rest of that milk, and have a nice rest on the couch. If you want, you can even get up and at it. I have spare clothes in the guest room upstairs, might be a bit big for you, but it'll manage. 'kay? I'll be up in the first room at the very top of the stairs if you need anything."

"And so will I." Xigbar's gruff voice cut through my gaze at Axel as though a warm knife was cutting through butter.

Those two backs were walking up the stairs and I watched them until they disappeared, and I actually looked at the table containing the cookies. A smile unsuspectingly made it's way onto my face as I bent forward and picked up a cookie.

It melted in my mouth and I couldn't hold back a kitten-like purr. I always did have a thing for cookies.

Downed the milk in one go, and I laid my head down on a pillow, a dribble of milk running down my chin. I wiped it away with the back of my sleeve and hummed again, letting myself go crazy and put my feet on the couch armrest. I didn't use the blanket, and my hands were folded orderly over my stomach. That's how I always slept.

--

"You sleep like a vampire."

The first thing I hear in the morning, and I keep thinking it's a dream. Vampire?

"You didn't move from that one position while you were sleeping, didn't you?"

I didn't want to open my eyes. I was too scared that I'd open them to see my mother dragging me to get up and out. She pushed me out of my house before, what would stop her from pushing me out of Axel's?

"Wake up, sleepy head. I know you're awake."

Opening my eyes wasn't as hard as it was this morning. I knew it was sometime in the late morning, and I always felt guilty if I slept past nine. Some internal clock thing.

My eyes centered on a redhead. I knew it couldn't be Axel, because his eyes were blue. And I knew it was a boy too, because their face was too boyish to be a girl. My eyes squinted, and they focused slowly, and I noted that the person was leaning over me, one of their hands on the back of the couch just above my head. They had a gleam in their eyes, and I almost shivered. It was a happy gleam, something you shouldn't shiver at…but him reflected against the black ceiling…

"Hey, it's me, Reno, remember?" he smiled wide when I nodded. I reached up absently with my left hand, noticing a little bit my hand was imprinted with the outline of my right hand's fingernails, and it was still white from my clutching it all night. Rubbing the eye gunk from my eyes and actually rubbing the sleepiness from them, I noticed him watching me.

I sat up slowly, him backing up a great deal, and I threw my legs over the side, standing up.

"You're up when you're up!"

I didn't get it, and I just stared at him. The background of his fiery hair was now a particularly dark painting of a Tim Burton-ish atmosphere, with like five moons and the sky was drawn toward the moons. The tree was dead of course, and Reno's head was smack dab right in the middle of it.

"Bro said that you came here in the middle of the night because you're mom kicked you out!"

I groaned and put a hand to my head. Just great. I really should have gone to the old abandoned shop across from Klaus Fraggen-whatever. I felt the shag carpet under my feet and looked down, a small ghost of a smile racing across my lips. Shag carpets were about the only thing my father hated…that's why I love them.

"Hey, you must be hungry!" Reno was skipping, his shoes making tapping sounds on the floor. The single red and black mixed vase on the mantle shaking from it's post only a little. While looking at him, I saw the entryway, the one with the skylight above it, and the table with four settings. I shivered and shook my head.

"I'll go and see if I can go home." I murmured, the most I've ever said to him in one sentence. I didn't like that entry way…

Reno caught my eyes staring at the dreaded entry way, and he looked at me with searching blue eyes, "what's up with you and the entry way? Axel said you were skittish around it."

I felt no need to hide it from him, so my eyes looked around at all the red and black things in the living room, and I caught sight of a hallway, and probably down that was a kitchen with red and black plates. What was it with these people and red and black things? Everything was red and black!

So I didn't hide it from him, "When I met my father he had an entry way like that. I never went past it. He had a big house."

"Met your father?"

I nodded, walking past him slowly and nearly sprinting through the entryway. I felt him on my heels, I heard his footsteps, and I heard his feet crunching the grass after me. I still didn't turn towards my house, even after I heard Reno yelling for his brother because I was escaping. I heard more footsteps, because Axel probably thought that I was escaping.

It was still raining a bit, and my hair was plastered to my face because it couldn't hold its water. The cracked sidewalk cut into my feet and I ignored it.

Are you wondering where I was going?

I was going to the old run down place across from Klaus Fraggen-whatever. I usually went there, because there wasn't many rats or mice, or anything like that.

I watched the wind sift through the trees and walked faster, wondering why the people following me were making sure to stay away. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Reno was tugging at a very tired looking Axel's shirt, and Axel was just lazing back like he usually did.

I walked across the busy street just before the light turned green and smirked at myself. That green light always took somewhere near five minutes to turn back to red. That would teach them not to follow me.

The door opened and I closed it before the two people following me could know I was there. I was probably the only one that came into this place. It was dark, much like something I'd dream, and it was just one huge empty room. There was a huge gap in the floor in the far right corner, and I actually had to hide in there when constructors came in looking around. I was relieved when they decided that it'd be too much money to tear it down, and left it to lease.

No one's bought it yet.

Kicking at a rat and scaring it away, I sat down on the ground and put my hands on my ankles. All I wanted to do was sit here forever, or until my mother let me back into my house. I really don't know why she kicked me out, and in reality she didn't. She didn't kick me out, or else she would have yelled at me and told me that she hated me, and even though I know my mother gets mad at times, she'd never do that. But this, she just kindly pushed me out; she even called me 'Honey' at least a thousand times.

The door squeaked (the floorboards doing the squeaking) to an opening, and I looked, seeing an all too familiar face poke through the wood and the tarp.

"Roxas."

Axel pushed the door open more, or well, lifted it open more. He stepped in slowly and let it fall, walking towards me with a sad look on hid face. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me with a look of pity or sorrow.

I silently wondered to myself as I looked at him: how did he find me? I was sure that the red light would last at least five minutes. Well, sometimes it was a short red light, it wasn't a sure fire schedule to the lights.

"What are you doing here?" The crunching of his shoes against the broken glass and rotted wood brought me back to reality.

Axel winced and brought himself to his full height, the darkness of the room making him look gloomy, "I wanted to see if you were alright. Reno told me what you said."

"I'm fine." I murmured, not looking at him as I picked the small pieces of glass out of the pads of my feet, to distract myself. I heard Axel sigh, and his footsteps grew louder, and I looked slightly over my shoulder.

He was right there, squatting down with his face nearly in mine, his green eyes squinting, looking at me with a strange look of concentration, "You sure?"

"Sure what?" I grumbled, standing up to fast for him to register and walking away smoothly, the glass on the ground cutting my feet yet again. I pulled away the tarp in the door and the sun glared down at me, as if telling me to get my butt back in there and tell Axel the truth. But why did Axel deserve the truth? His family is nice enough…but that's just the problem.

I was walking down the street again, just in time to see Reno running across the street when he didn't see any cars coming. It was raining a bit harder now, and I'd just barely managed to dry of a little in the abandoned storeroom.

I stopped, looking over my shoulder yet again, the rain running down my cheeks and getting into my clothing, and I glared at Axel and Reno, Reno standing close to Axel as if I'd attack.

I stared into Axel's eyes and my voice held it's perfected fake malice, "I'm going home. DON'T follow me."

--

"I'm not going to deal with this all summer!"

I winced and hid further under my blanket, pulling the fleece taught around my knuckles and head.

"Well, if you're not, why won't you sign the damn papers?"

I was so far into the fetal position that my head was nearly in between my knees, and my arms were tight against them.

"I don't want to sign the damn papers! You need to come home and act like a father! He's just lazing about, just like you!"

I, quick as a mouse, reached out from under my safety shelter I'd created for myself and pulled the comforter over my head as well, allowing my body to fall to the side and lay down.

"I can't come home because you wont let me! I try and come home, but all you do is bitch about money and bitch about Roxas and bitch about me!"

Don't bring me into this. Oh, _please_ don't bring me into this.

"I only bitch about Roxas because he's my SON! He's hardly yours because you never talk to him!"

The voices were meant to be silent, and they always sent me upstairs before they got into a fight. But heaven knows I could always hear them as if they were right next to me. The only thing that kept me safe was the fleece blanket that my grandmother had given me before she's passed away.

"The only reason he's not my son is because you ran away with him when he was born! How do you think that makes me feel as a father?"

God, they're bringing his up. I _really _don't want them to bring this up. Whenever they brought this up, things got bad. Things got really…really…

"Well, I'd think of you as more of a father if you acted like one! I came back, didn't I?"

I wish I wasn't an only child. I wished I had someone to hold me and hide out all the yelling. I didn't want to hear it, grating on my brain. Tearing away at it like a cheese grater. The fighting had become more frequent, and I'm lucky if I'm out of the house or just walking in as it happens.

"Well, _Anna, _why do you keep blaming this on me? If anything, it's Roxas's fault!"

I knew it. It's my entire fault. He yelled it every time, and every time, that was a few minutes before my mom would start screaming for him to get out of her house. I always tried as hard as I could to drown out the last part of their conversation, because everything my father and mother said was true.

If I wasn't here, they'd be living the life of luxury, and they'd still be in love, they'd have maids and everything. They don't have that because my mother had spent so much money on me as a child. No…not ON me, I mean she spent every waking hour trying to get away from my father, spending thousands of dollars on train tickets trying to get away, only to come back…because…

She didn't want a child. My father didn't either. Yet they weren't up to getting an abortion, and my mother wasn't cruel enough to put me into adoption. I actually think if she had she would have been doing me a favor.

There was a knock on the door, and my parent's screaming stopped abruptly. No, I don't want any company. Heaven knows that it's not for me, Reno or Axel wouldn't want to come back after seeing me glare at them like I hated them. The door knock came back, and the rusty hinges squeaked as either my mother or my father opened the door. They hadn't gotten to the part where my mother was kicking him out.

There were muffled sounds, an apology from someone…an angered voice, no doubt from my father, and then scuffling. Was someone getting in a fight with someone else? That couldn't happen, no one was strong or brave enough to stand up with my father. My father went to the gym every day, and I was terrified of him for a good reason.

The voices grew louder, but just soft enough so that I couldn't understand what they were saying.

I don't know how long I stayed there, under my dark blanket, the lights turned off. After a while, the door closed again, and my parents picked right up where they left off. I couldn't take it, I don't know why I was listening to it up until now, but they were off the subject of me.

My fingers, followed by my hand, followed by my arm reached out from under the blanket and scooted across the chilly sheets, reaching off the bed and onto the bedside table to where I always kept my mp3 player, then restricting with the object. I put on my Skull Candy earphones (the reason I tell you their Skull Candy is because that is truly the only brand of earphones I've found that can drown people out completely.), and turned it up…loud.

I didn't care what song, really, but the song that played was extremely ironic. It was 'Much More Beautiful Person' by Bowling for Soup. I didn't really care for them, seeing as all they sung about was love, but their songs always found a way to cheer me up, because they were so true.

_And he's a much more beautiful person then you'll ever know. _

--

"Honey, wake up."

Someone was shaking my shoulder, thus making the mp3 player fall out of my fingers. I opened my eyes slowly, reaching up to rub under one absently, then looked up at my mother, grumbling something and sitting up. What happened? Whoa, it felt like someone hit me in the head with a baseball bat!

"That's what happens when you listen to your music full blast all night." My mom said, that small smile on her face, "better than listening to two old people yell at each other, I guess."

I almost agreed with her, but I'd listened to them yell at each other enough times to be used to it, and that was better than having a killing headache.

She smiled and sat on the edge of my bed, her sagging hair resting on her shoulders like damp grass, and her smile wasn't real, nothing like she used to smile. She handed something to me that was in her clenched hand, "Here, I brought you some Aspirin. I knew you'd have a headache."

I nodded and took them from her, throwing back my head and swallowing them dry. My head was still hurting badly, and my body felt dirty, as I had fallen asleep in my clothing. My black fleece blanket was resting around my hips and down my thighs, falling off my feet. I shook my head and looked at her from under my bangs.

"I know you were listening last night…" She said hesitantly, her dry hand reaching out to take mine, mine having been resting on my knees, my mind trying not to focus on anything but her voice. She sighed and clenched mine, that action making me look up, "Roxas, no matter what your father and I say when we're like that, It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. We both love you very much, but your father says things that he wishes he didn't say later. Please don't think that any of this is your fault."

I nodded, and she still stared at me skeptically. She shook her head, chuckling a little and smiling, releasing my hand. Her arms raised slowly, her fingers twitching in invitation, and I went forward.

People who are nineteen aren't supposed to hug their mothers. That's what I've heard people say. People who are nineteen are 'momma's-boys' if they hug their mother for too long. The longest people my age can hug their mothers is five seconds on the way out of the door, and even if that, if they can get away with a kiss on the cheek or a 'bye mom', they will.

Not me. I'd give anything to be a 'momma's-boy'. I just want to hug my mom; because this is the first time she's hugged me in about six months. Six months ago everything went to shit.

"I just came up here to tell you that." She smiled and pushed me away, reaching forward and kissing my cheek lightly, clenching my hand again, "And I also came to tell you that I'm going to a job interview today."

…Really?

"Yes, really Roxas." I hadn't realized I said that out loud, but she was smiling wistfully and she tilted her head, her hair contrasting to the blue of my room, "And I think this will be better for us. I'll be getting a rather good paying job. You'll see."

I nodded and smiled as she stood up, releasing my hand and shifting the purse on her shoulder to a better position. She sighed again, showing her short leash of patience, and then standing up with such grace that I felt a swell of pride in my gut. She was having such a hard time with this whole situation, much harder than anything I have to go through, and she was still as graceful and elegant as a swan, showing that she had guts.

I stood up slowly after her, the fleece falling to the bed, and my feet moving on their own accord. I was in front of her and hugging her as tight as I could before I knew what I was doing, and the surprising thing was that her head only came to my chest.

When had I grown taller than my own mother?

"I love you…mom." I mumbled, sighing and pushing her away slightly, reaching and kissing her on the cheek with the most care I'd ever shown in weeks. I flashed a small yet true smile, and she returned it. I sighed and felt a small breeze from my open window catch under my shirt and send chills down my spine, "You'll get this job mom. I know you will."

She smiled up at me and nodded, patting my shoulder and dipping her head to walk away. I didn't follow her, I just watched as she held her head up high and walked away, her shoes making not a sound as she elegantly closed the door with a soft click.

"Mother…"

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_What's with all the angst! Wowzers!_


	3. Grey, Chapter 3

_Okay, I have no idea if anyone really likes this story, but I'm going to continue uploading it anyway. What's the point in writing a story if no one is going to read it? At least I know that a few are, and that's good enough for me. I'd really like some reviews, and i've gotten a few, but I can live. _

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Grey, chapter 3

It was raining…really hard. The small little droplets making a free fall dive toward the ground. I could watch them for hours, watching one single droplet, watch it fall down and collide with the windowpane. I could watch them blend and merge, looking like one single mass of water, I could watch them push at the oak tree in my back yard, like the tree itself was trying to get away from the frigid rain.

My mother was still out on her job interview; she'd been gone for nearly an hour now. I didn't know what would happen, or that interviews could be this long. The rain had started about ten minutes after she left, and the sky hadn't even shown any signs that it was going to pour until it was already too late.

My house was frightening, the light from the speck of sun being able to show throughout the rain clouds casting a shadow on everything it could. I didn't like being in my house, when I was alone I mean. I always felt like something was going to come out, or my mother wasn't going to come home. I even remember when I was about seven, and we'd already been away from my real father for about three years then. I'd always climb into her bed, and snuggle as close as I could.

But my mother was gone, and I didn't have anything to run to.

Axel…

No, I couldn't run to him. I already did last night when I totally crashed at his house. And that Xigbar guy, I could tell that he did not like me. I wish the power was on…My Ipod was my only refuge, because I could listen to it really loud and not have to hear the pounding crashes of the thunder and lightning outside. I never liked that stuff, but my mother and my father (when they used to get along) would always sit out and watch it, cheering after the largest and brightest boom.

I shivered on my perch on the windowsill and rubbed my arms slowly, staring out at the still raining sky. I was in the living room, the one that you could look out to both the back yard and the front. I was situated on the back, because I didn't want to look at the occasional couple running by happily, getting soaked. They did that around here, it was very romantic to go running around with you're lover and then bundle up in blankets with a cup of cocoa, sitting in front of a fire while watching a romantic comedy.

But no, I was sitting here with a stale Diet Pepsi, watching the rain come down, my skin shivering, but yet I was too lazy to get a blanket. I sighed and took another sip, forcing it down and showing a grimace, then turning away from the window to look down at said disgusting drink.

I shrugged and took another drink as I stood, heading to the kitchen, if not only to dump out the soda and get some water, anything to drown down the taste of this Pepsi. I dumped it in the recycling bin and sighed, leaning against the doorframe, thinking about something, and then turning back to the living room.

The doorbell was ringing, I noticed just as I sat down on the couch. I flopped down on my side, pushing my hands under my head as I let the doorbell just ring. I didn't need anything today, especially if it was a stupid door-to-door salesman or … Axel…

"Roxas I know you're in there!"

The voice could barely be heard through the thick door, that and over the rain, but I knew who it was. At least it wasn't who I feared it would be, but this person was dang close, and if anything this person was worse.

Reno was relentless on the poor door, pounding with both fists, "Come on, Roxas! You're beginning to worry me! You're mom left over an hour ago, have you been in here for that whole time alone?"  
Wow, did that boy watch me so much that he knew when my mother left? I really wasn't going to open the door now, well, I wasn't going to anyway, but now I didn't even listen, I just closed my eyes and tuned everything out, sighing. I could distantly hear the pounding against the door, but I could no longer hear his yells. Why did he want to come in so badly? I mean seriously, if he wanted to come in so badly, why didn't he just turn the doorknob and walk in? The door was open.

There.

There ya go! The only way that I could tell that he got in was that something was now shaking my shoulder. Whether it be Reno or Axel or that Xigbar guy, I didn't care one bit, I wasn't moving from my couch (which I just barely was reminded that it was very comfortable). The hand was removed and I could hear someone whining, but I didn't tune back in just because of that.

"You know what?"

No I didn't know what, I don't even know why you're stupid voice is breaking through my mind barrier. But before I could tune him out yet again, I felt warm arms under my shoulders and knees, and these muscular arms hoisting me up in one swoop, and we were moving before I even had time to gather my bearings.

And you sure as hell bet that my eyes opened.

And this was certainly something that I didn't see coming…it was….

Gojyo!?

"G-Gojyo!?" I managed to stutter out as he stepped into the rain, walking in a confident stride toward his son's home, Reno tagging along much like a duckling. Even at the mention of his name, Gojyo's stalk didn't cease, and all he did was smile:

"Yup, the one and only." Gojyo chuckled, his arms still tight around me although I'm pretty sure that he knew that I could walk, "What were you doing in that house all alone? Didn't Axel or Reno tell you that the fam' would be here this weekend?"

Fam'? What the hell is that? Some weird abbreviation of family?

"Don't worry, I already called your mother with the card on the fridge. I was hoping that was her cell, and I was right." I was shivering more now, but he was already using his long strides to go up the path to the front door, "Good think I got to you in time, you must be hungry, you're freezing too. Your power's out…that sucks. Ours isn't, must be on a different line."

I didn't even try to struggle because I couldn't find the strength. All I could do was speak, "Please let me down now, I can walk."  
Gojyo just stopped, letting the rain cascade down his hair, "Really now?"

It was completely shocking how he didn't believe me. I could tell by his tone of voice that he wouldn't put me down until we reached his son's house, and another thing is that I knew that Axel didn't know I was going to be invading his personal space yet again. I wonder what that Xigbar guy is going to think, I know for sure that he isn't going to be too happy about this.

When I spaced back into reality, we were already heading up the gray and bleak (not to mention damp) walkway toward his son's house, and the door was already open thanks to Reno. I was soaked to the bone already, but that didn't mean that Gojyo wasn't, he was the one that didn't bring an umbrella.

"Axel, you're last guest is here, come and greet him."

I only took this chance, whilst adverting my gaze from that horrible entryway, to wonder just how strong that Gojyo was, because he was in fact carrying me. He'd carried me all the way from my house, and that took a lot of muscle. I mean, I wasn't the biggest person in the world, but a hundred and eighteen pounds is a lot to carry around like a knapsack.

I was finally sat down and I turned to bolt, but Gojyo knew that I was going to do something like that, because he had a death grip on my wrist, and I couldn't move an inch without him tightening his grip. I really just wanted to go home, but his grip was much like that of an alligator, once they clamped down, they didn't let go.

A familiar redhead with startling green eyes poked through the doorway leading to the living room, and as soon as he saw me, he smiled wide, "Roxy! I didn't know you were coming over, thanks dad!"

Did he actually want me over? Did he really? I mean seriously, I could see the hidden look of disappointment in his eyes, and I knew that he was going to yell at Reno later for asking Gojyo to bring me over. I know that Gojyo couldn't have done something like that on his own free will.

Axel lead me into the red and black living room, and having only seen it empty and bleak like that, seeing it full of people was rather shocking for me.

"Yo, Axel, who's that?" A blonde man with a strange hair cut asked, his blue eyes tweaking with mischief, his leg crossed over his thigh. I wanted to run from the looks that everyone was giving me, and I felt so small, because everyone in this room must've been at least over twenty, and they didn't look like they liked this little addition to their party.

Axel clapped me on the back, making me stumble forward right into the waiting arms of another random man, a strange person with long beautiful silver hair, and he just span me around, taking a good look at me as he did. He stopped, smirking and pushing me a little on the chest with his long arms, with that smirk on his face, so that I stumbled back against my will. The back of my knees hit the edge of the couch and I sat, right in the middle of two more strangers.

"He's so adorable, just look at him!" The person to my right squealed, hugging me without my consent. It was a woman, and the only thing I could say about her was she was hyper.

The person to my left nodded, leaning back and crossing a leg, "Very good looking, he one of your neighbors Axie?"

Axel looked nervous, rubbing his hand behind his head, "Yeah, his name is Roxas."

What was I? Some sort of show and tell? Was I some sort of item that Axel needed to pass through his friends before he could actually be my friend or not? Why was everyone staring at me? Why was the woman still hugging me? Why was that strange brunette man to my left still staring at me?

"Roxas?" One of the women on the couch exactly in front of the one I was on leaned forward, tilting her head to the side and resting her chin on her fist, "I like him, good catch Axel."

Axel stared at me as well, then sighed and walked across his carpet and strait to the couch the woman was on, plopping on the ground right in front of it, "Yuffie! Let go of him, he's a skittish kid. Leon, stop staring at him, you're probably scaring him. And Tifa, he's not a fish."

Nice way to let me know their names, Axel, very subtle.

I felt as though I'd simply explode from being so uncomfortable. I didn't know that someone could be so uncomfortable! Especially when everyone became quiet, like they were talking about something interesting and sort of…personal, like only the family would know, and you just walked in. I looked around, and counted five in all people here, and some of them were older than the others. I gulped, seeing that some of them were really old, and some of them were just over twenty, like I said. But they were all looking at me like I didn't belong there.

This was Axel's family, and it was so much bigger than mine. My family was my father (whom wasn't really a father), my mother, and me. I don't know about any aunts or uncles, nieces or nephews, or especially any cousins. This kind of family, a family that would come over on random days, I wanted something like this so badly.

Axel looked at me, then nervously coughed into his hand, looking around with shifty eyes, then smiling with that same nervousness, "Well, Roxy, the woman that just finished hugging you is my cousin Yuffie. The man to the left is my uncle Leon, and his husband is in the bathroom. The woman right here…"

He put up his hand and pointed backward toward the black-haired woman, the woman with a smirk, the woman with the crossed legs, the woman looking at me like she wanted to shoot lasers from her eyes and kill me. I looked away and down, my hands still in my lap, shifting nervously.

"…Is my aunt Tifa."

I nodded a hello, and then went back to looking down at my hands. Axel went on, with the last two people that I saw: "The plateau head right there is my cousin Demyx. The frightening man with the silver locks is Sephiroth, my nephew-in-law, And last but not least, that…"

I looked sheepishly to where he pointed and saw that a man sitting right where he was pointing. He was very kind looking, just sitting in the last chair; his bouncing brown hair and great smile only working in making me more nervous. His hands were resting on his ankles, and his legs were crossed.

"Is my nephew Sora."

I nodded again, but then soon the atmosphere went back to being so uncomfortable for me that I nearly wanted to choke. I looked back up at everyone, nervously checking if they were killing me with their mind. I looked back down at my hands and finally took the plunge to speak, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to intrude."

And like that, the tension was broken. Gojyo walked in with a huge tray of chip and dip, Reno walking on his heels, running over and pushing Yuffie off to sit next to me. I looked at him, and then something caught my ears. Everyone was talking, talking to ether each other, talking to Axel, laughing, talking to Gojyo, and trying to talk to me. I barely registered a very nice looking blonde walking in a plopping himself into Leon's lap and talking to him and then looking at me and trying to strike up a conversation. The room was abuzz with conversations, voices, laughter, emotions, and just a plain homey feeling. It was like I belonged here, like I fit in and everyone was comfortable around me. I found myself talking back, even if in small sentences or in one word phrases, and they were asking such questions like they wanted to get to know me.

Reno was always sticking near me, and Gojyo called my mother by the hour to tell her that I was still here. What…hours? How long had I been here? I noticed that they put on a movie and only about two of them paid attention. I was sitting on the edge of the couch now, having a very (surprisingly) interesting conversation with Cloud about music. Like, whether it sounded better on vinyl or CD, or what band was the best, or what was better: Oldies or Modern Rock. He had very interesting opinions, and we even agreed that the next time we met we'd swap some CD's for the other to hear.

One moment I was talking to Cloud, and the next I was talking to Demyx, whom also seemed very interested in music. He told me he'd overheard a little bit of mine and Cloud's conversation, and soon we were talking very animatedly about music and things, and we agreed on more things than even Cloud and I did.

It was like they were taking turns, because while Demyx was using the bathroom (_"You better stay here while I pee, because I still got stuff to talk about!"_), Tifa instantly walked up to me, plopped down, looked at me with those cold eyes, then asked if I liked artwork. I told her that I wasn't really in to it, but I did take a couple classes during school. She told me that I looked like a really enthusiastic kid, and that I should put that into artwork. She even wrote down a few numbers that I could call if I ever wanted a cheap class during the summer.

"Did you guys hear about that thing on the news?" Leon asked, looking around as the bustle of conversation slowly started to slow down, and everyone looked toward him. He snorted and ran a hand through his hair, the one that wasn't holding onto Cloud's waist, "You know, the one top story about the woman that died in a ten car pileup last week."

I tensed. I don't know why, but that one sentence made me tense and become ultimately frightened. I shivered, but I shook away the dread that seeped into my brain and looked toward the brunette like everyone else was.

"Don't tell me no one heard about that?"

They all looked up at Demyx as he walked into the living room from the hallway that lead to the bathroom, wiping his hands on his pants and smirking, "I heard about it. Wasn't she the only one to die?"

Leon nodded, looking around as if telling a scary story, "I don't know why, but she was the only one dead, all the others just went to the hospital."

Cloud grumbled and leaned against his husband; holding onto the brunette's arm like it was some sort of life source, "Don't talk about such things now. This is supposed to be a happy family time."

Yuffie, seemingly not having heard Cloud, jumped up. She was now seated on the black couch across from the red one I was on, and she was having a conversation with Sora before Leon started talking, but now she was interested and looking around smiling, bringing up the topic that I severely wanted to die, "speaking of that, remember that one time down in twilight town when that mother died while out to get groceries?"

I looked around and saw that everyone shivered. Twilight Town? What on earth was that? I clenched my hands and looked around nervously, not catching my eyes widen and my breath starting to quicken. No, don't think about that. I should really not be thinking about that right now. No. No. No. Just block them out. Just block them out. I want my Ipod.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember." Tifa mused, putting a finger on her chin and smirking at the thought, remembering every detail, remembering every little fact. I looked at her, sensing the sweat traveling down my back and down my forehead. Just don't think about it. She went on: "The woman that just went out for like an hour, just to get some milk or something, but she never came back?"

"Or that one time the woman just went out on a job interview!" Sora exclaimed, leaning forward in his chair, a look of creeping doom on his face, that smirk showing true malice. If I didn't know any better, these people were passing around these stories like midnight spook tales.

Job interview…job interview…I don't know why but my mind started working on overdrive. In my confusion with these new people and all the talking and plain enjoyment of the moment, I hadn't realized that my mother had been gone for over five hours. My mom was gone. My mom was on a job interview. Mom. Oh my god. Take deep breaths. It's not like anything happened. It's not like dad went after mom while she was out of the house, dad wouldn't do that. No, mom just went on an interview. Oh my god. Oh-my-god. Ohmygod.

Then they all started laughing, Sora was even holding his stomach. I looked around them like they were all crazy, but that didn't seem like such a bad possibility. They were all laughing and here I was hyperventilating.

"Sorry, Roxy." Axel smirked and leaned back on the couch again, that laughter still in his eyes, "We do that too all the new people here. Make them think we're crazy or something, it's really funny to see their faces. We even did it to Xig-…"

"Stop." Demyx was holding out his hand, his eyes squinting, his body leaning forward as all of them looked at him, looking at me with searching eyes, "Guys, I really think he's freaking out."

They all looked at me. Their eyes searching and I was sure that my body was shaking. I was scared, I admit that. I was scared. They were all looking at me and that didn't make me anymore comfortable, any less frightened, any less afraid… Why would they do something like that as a joke? Either this was one messed up family or they had one weird sense of humor. But…isn't that something all families did? They psyched out the new kid. Made them think they were psychopaths or something, then laugh at them, tell them it was all a joke, have a good laugh, then send them away, inviting them to the next family get-together.

Gojyo took this grand time to make his enterance, his hand calmly resting on the doorframe, his face showing confusion. I heard his footsteps walking into the room from the _enterance way,_ "What's with the quiet guys? Oh, Roxas, you're mom is here."

I didn't have time to see their faces change from confusion to guilt, before I literally jumped over the back of the couch, my socked feet slipping on the ground and falling forward, only to catch myself and propel forward toward the front door, "mom!"

My mother was in the doorway, her worn hands calmly folded in front of her and her lips and eyes smiling. She was wearing (I hadn't noticed earlier) a very nice dress, something new yet from a bargain store, baby blue, with a blue trim, very classy. But…

"Honey? What's the matter?" Her hands carefully came out in front of her and her brows creased in worry as she stepped into the house, but I met her half way before she could get any further.

My arms were tight around her waist and I was holding my mother against me like she was going to leave any second. I didn't want to let her go, but I was so close to just breaking down that I couldn't let her go. I couldn't admit that their stories scared me half to death. They already thought I was skittish enough! They were just stories, I didn't need to get this worked up about them! But…it was so frightening, the minute Leon mentioned the story, I pictured my mother somewhere in an alley.

She didn't deserve that…and I loved my mother so much.

She pulled back and put her hands on my cheeks, her warmth making me nearly break down still. She smiled warmly up at me, tilting her head to the side, "What's the matter, sweetie? You look scared to death."

I shook my head and pulled away, reaching down and lightly pecking her on the cheek, smiling and slowly stepping out of her hands, trying to ignore the feeling that I was still in the entry way. She laughed and shook her head as if she were saying 'you're so weird'. She laughed and patted my arm in her motherly way, then looked around me to where I suspected that Gojyo was still standing there, his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. She chuckled and stepped through, walking up to him, "You sure you're okay with Roxas? He seems sort of jumpy today."

"I noticed." Gojyo chuckled, then shrugged, his feet shifting as he turned around again, gesturing with smooth fingers as he walked back into the living room, "come meet the family. Maybe you can ask them why he's acting strange,"

My mother nearly had to drag me back into the living room, keeping me going with kind words and encouragements. She was smiling, her hand still in mine, her head shaking like I was doing something ridiculous, but her eyes betrayed that thought with being full of worry. We made it there and everyone was standing, Cloud glaring at Leon like he wanted him to start on fire, and Demyx was literally writhing in his seat, because he was one of the family that really didn't like their 'joke'.

"Hello, I'm Annabelle Broosh, Roxas's mother." She smiled and then tugged lightly at my hand so I stumbled forward, and I kept dipping my head, not looking at any of them, "Are you guys the reason Roxas here is acting so strange?"

I shook my head and turned around slowly, so that none of them could look at me, "No mom, let's just go home, please."

She opened her mouth to protest, going to say something, but she looked at me through squinted eyes, and then nodded, "Alright." She turned back tot hem, "Nice to meet you people, Roxas's will have to hang out with you soon. Goodbye."

They all said goodbye in their own way.

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_Hello people! I hope you liked this chapter, and I know that no one would really do that to a friend, but I wanted anxiety to go up!_


	4. Grey, Chapter 4

_Hey, Ever-buddy! I'd like to thank you for your comments on the last chapter, all two of them! Sigh I put myself up to this, and I will continue updating, even though I don't know if people like it! Hey, I can't talk, seeing as I read a lot of good stories, but am too lazy to review. So I won't badger you to review, but it'd be nice. I'm gonna update anyway. _

_And, I got a really nice comment on the last chapter. Longest comment of the story, yet! Thanks, XitaUnlucky, that made me feel better.  
_

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Grey, Chapter 4

"You better be damn glad it's summer." My mother was speaking to me, but I wasn't really listening as I sat at the table the next morning. I couldn't even return to Axel's house now, my embarrassment would be too much. My mother even laughed at me, well…not at me, really, but she was asking what got me all jumpy. I couldn't really tell her what they said, could I?

The door slammed as she closed the dishwasher, pressing a few buttons and listening to the water start to churn in it. She ran a hand through her hair, looking over at me and smiling, contradicting her previous statement, "I got that job, you know the one I was going to the interview for yesterday?"

I looked her in the eye and nodded, my lips wanting to twitch into a smile. I gulped down the last bit of my cereal, pushing myself slowly up from the table. She sighed and I noticed that she had her hands on her hips, "Well, aren't you going to ask me what job it is?"

"What job is it?" I asked, my back facing her as I swished out my dirty bowl with an equally dirty dishrag. I just barely peeked at her over my shoulder, but I instantly looked back down at my dry and cracking hands as he was giving me a look. That look always said that she was asking herself what was wrong with me.

She crossed her arms over her chest, raising one to look at the dirt under her nails, "well, nothing much really. I'm a secretary for a really high-class stockbroker. The benefits are great, and any time he gets off, I get off."

"How'd you manage that?" I gulped, looking over at her, leaning most of my body on my hands, which were rested on the counter.

She shrugged, "When you were a boy I had a lot of experience in being a secretary. I got this job because of my experience."

I sighed, digging my nails into the drying linoleum of the counter. My mother didn't just go around getting jobs. There has to be a reason she did this. Something big, my mother hasn't had a job in nearly a year, and that's because my father insists to pay for all the bills. He doesn't think that a woman like my mother should me working.

I sighed and looked over at her again, seeing her looking down, her eyes almost closed. She was gulping hard, and her breathing was shallow, like she was about to fall asleep. I gulped, same as her, the air thick with something that needed to be said. Either she was going to say it, or she was planning on sometime in the near future.

"Your father and I…" She began like all parents begin, with that same line, the 'your father and I…' line. It was almost ironic, because she never put my father and herself in the same sentence, "You know we've been having some differences."

I snorted, despite wanting to hold it back. I didn't want to anger or sadden my mother, not now. I was able to hold myself back from saying 'no shit', but that would be so out of character for me. I guess I've been hanging around with Axel and those guys too much.

She looked at me, her eyes thinning, "Well, he's been trying to get me to sign these papers. It's these papers that would either make our future so much better, or so much worse."

I looked at her, trying as hard as I could to make eye contact. But no matter what I did, she would always shy away and fiddle with something. She was also fiddling with something in her mind, something that she couldn't get around. I knew that this thing that she was about to tell me wasn't the only huge thing that she needed to say. She was going to say this, but something bigger was going to be left unsaid.

"Well, I want to sign them, but thinking about you…" She trailed off, and me, knowing my mother, (Also having gotten this certain trait from her), she wouldn't say anymore, expecting the other person to get it. And, in being her son, I did.

"Sign the divorce papers." I sighed, looking at her all the while dipping my head and sighing, my knuckles turning white from the force that I was holding onto the counter, "Sign them. I know you want to, mom. I don't want to see you like this anymore. You say that you're thinking about me when you don't sign them…but…"

She didn't know anything. She didn't know a damn thing. Saying that she was thinking about me when she _didn't _sign the papers? What in the hell was she saying? As much as I would like to have a happy little family and have this somehow work out, thinking along the lines of my mother, in saying that not signing them will tell my father, in some miraculous way, that things could be different. No, that wouldn't happen.

There was a crash in the next room that made me jump, instantly looking over from where my eyes were finally connected with my mothers. I glared when I saw Axel standing there, his eyes wide and a sheepish smile on his face as he was meticulously placed right above a broken vase. His hand was behind his head in embarrassment, but his eyes showed that he'd heard more than I wanted him to.

"Oh, dear, is this Axel?" My mother's gloomy mood was gone in a flash as she plastered a fake smile on her face, turning toward our intruder rather than guest. I nodded, clamming up and not speaking a word as Axel walked into the room, his eyes not leaving mine for a second.

My mother, on the other hand, didn't notice anything as she walked up to shake his hand. She tilted her head to the side and smiled at him, "Well, it's very good to meet you finally. Is your family still here?"  
He shook his head, looking at her finally with a fake smile of his own, "No, they left this morning. I was hoping I could come and hang out with Roxy, it's lonely in my house all alone."

"What about that brother of yours?" My mother mused, but shook her head, waving it away without another thought, "But anyway, I'm sure that Roxas would love to 'hang out' with you."

Axel looked at me, his fake smile transforming into a real one, "Really Roxy? You could come shopping with me. And you could also help me with something I've been trying to figure out."

My mother smiled, walking past Axel with a pat on the shoulder, walking down the hall with a soft patter of socks on hardwood, "If you boys need me, I'll be in my room making a few calls."

Axel, on the other hand, just stared at me some more, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. His striped button-up shirt did wonders for his body, but that didn't mean that I was looking. I was just standing there, the same as him, staring at him through my bangs. Me, on the other hand, I was wearing a turtle-neck sweater, peach, with a light green stripe right over the chest, not that he was noticing either.

Axel held out his hand suddenly, leaning all his weight on one leg, smirking at me lazily, "Let's go, then, Roxas."

--

He had a car, I just barely figured out. He had a pretty nice car too; one of those compact ones, but it was still pretty big. I know nothing about cars, and I don't' know the difference between Mazda or Toyota, or anything like that. He probably thought I was an idiot, because when he told me that it was a Dodge Charger, I just looked at him funny. All I knew about this car was that it was red, cherry red, almost as red as Axel's hair.

Fancy shit inside, that's all I know.

"So I was thinking." I looked over at him from where I was awkwardly sitting in the passenger seat. His voice broke my concentration, of which I was just trying to concentrate on not jumping out of the car. It was awkward enough as is, but now he had to try and talk.

He looked over at me as he stopped at a red light, "Your mother is probably going to want a little time to herself after that little spat you two had."

I glared at him. How could he talk like that, just like he knew exactly what was going on? He couldn't speak like that, like he knew me, like he knew my mother, like he knew everything was going on.

He laughed nervously, looking over at me, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the side, "I'm sorry. It's times like these people would say that they know what you're going through, but I don't. I have no clue what you're going through, but can't I help you through it?"

I looked at him again, just as he pressed the gas peddle, and I looked at him all the while he was pulling into the grocery store, and while he was turning off his car. I gulped again, looking down at my hands, not moving to take off my seatbelt or move in the slightest. I just wanted to thank him in a way, but I had no clue how.

He looked at me, carefully placing his hand on my shoulder, "So, what I was saying, is that maybe you could spend the night at my house? That might help your mother out a bit. And Reno isn't here tonight, so you might sleep a bit easier. What do you say?"

I looked him in the eye, trying to search just what he was trying to do. What would he get out of helping me? I didn't answer him; I just looked forward, answering in itself with a little nod of my head. He took that as a real answer and smiled wide, unlocking his seatbelt and nearly throwing himself from the car.

We spent no more than thirty minutes at the store. We just grabbed some things, a movie from the rental store within the market, ice cream, popcorn, and some house essentials that Axel would need for the week. I found myself enjoying his company, as much as I would hate to admit. He was talking nonstop, and he'd make excuses to hug me or nudge me, just like a pal would do.

But before I knew it, I was sprinting past the entryway and into his living room, having already shed my shoes and jacket, fully preparing to throw myself on the couch and just sit there for the rest of the night. Axel, on the other hand, had much different plans.

"So," he flipped the top of the ice cream tub on the small coffee table that was in the middle of the room. He handed me a spoon and sat, setting another bowl full of popcorn in the middle of us. He scooped up some ice cream and set it in his mouth, staring at me with calm green eyes, "Tell me."

I just looked at him, raising one eyebrow to show that I didn't understand what he meant. He tilted his head to the side and stuck his tongue out at me, "Tell me what's going on with your family."

The sudden flare of anger was expected. Did he just really expect me to sit here and spill my guts? I mean serious-

"I know you're having an inner conversation with yourself," He murmured, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against mine, the cool warmth doing something for my nerves. That warmth didn't stop my heart from skipping a beat though, when his eyes met mine with uncovered worry and concern, and that was for me. He smiled, "but you can't just hold it all inside. You need someone to talk to. I want that someone to be me, because I feel…you're the first person I've ever met that I want to hear about their life. I want to actually tell you about my boring life, isn't that funny?"

I tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out just what he was trying to say. He laughed at me, popping another spoonful of ice-sugar in his mouth. I just stared at him as he dug into the popcorn, acting like a regular snack-food junkie. I just watched him though; letting his words seep into my skin. I gulped yet again, my brows drawing together as I felt my heart race up. I didn't understand what Axel was doing. Why did he want to know about me? Why did he want to learn about me, why was he doing this?

"My mother and father didn't exactly want me." I started, looking at him, my eyes thinning as I tried to discern what exactly he wanted out of this, all the while telling my own story without even thinking about it, "I've heard it a million times when they fight and they don't think I'm listening. My mother tried to escape my father…"

Axel tilted his head to the side, looking at me with the most understanding eyes in the world, so much so that I wanted to cry. He set the ice cream down on the ground and leaned forward, so close that our arms were touching, "Why?"

"He didn't have enough money to support us. She thought it would be easier if it was just to two of us." I sighed and closed my eyes, not wanting to look at anything. My mind was just blank as I was relying all of his information, "So she left."

Axel nodded, and that made me look up at him again. I shook my head when I saw his face bordered with the painting on his wall, and I stood up, rubbing at my eyes and asking myself why I was telling him this. I growled, "Why am I telling you this? Just because you ask me?"

"Maybe it's because you want to." Axel murmured more to himself, looking at me with the most honest eyes, they almost made me want to hug him. I do want to tell someone, just not someone who will probably leave within the next year. I was always hoping that I'd end up telling the one I love all about my life, not just…. but Axel…

I sat again, staring down at my hands and hunching my body over, taking deep breaths, "When my mom tried to leave, it didn't really work out. Boyfriend after boyfriend, job after job, home after home, eventually she couldn't manage. We were actually on the streets for a week once, but that was right before she realized we needed my father."

Axel was putting an arm around me, and such comfort in such a little time, I melted into it, leaning against him with all my might, "My father was nice when we first got there. I was seven, I think. I met him in an archway just like the one you have, that's when I didn't even realize I had a father. He was really nice, and him and my mother had a good relationship. But then he started leaving more and more and my mother would wonder why. He would go on more and more business trips, and I'd be left alone for days on end." I took a deep laboring breath, "That's when they started to fight."

Axel's hand tightened on my shoulder, and his other hand, I don't know when he took mine, was rubbing calming circles on my palm. I sighed, "They weren't fighting physically, my father wasn't that kind of guy, but they were yelling so loud. I could hear them every time. And every time, I'd listen and listen and listen, waiting until they got to the part where they started blaming me, then I'd put my headphones in and listen to music so loud that I'd have a headache in the morning.

"I stopped trying to make friends because they'd all think it was freaky when my parents yelled at each other when they were over. I don't have any friends, and I don't want any at this point. I don't want to take anyone over to my house, because to tell the truth, my mother has let it go to shit." I laughed a hoarse and cruel laugh, turning my head to the side and glancing up at him, "You heard this morning, but I think that divorce would be a salvation. No more fighting…no more yelling, that's just what I want."

"I know." Axel murmured, resting his chin on the top of my head. He didn't let me go, and if anything, he held me tighter than before. I let out a long breath, and it almost felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to bear this weight alone anymore. Some of it, if only a little bit, was given away. I sighed again, bringing my hands up to clutch at his arm, needing something to hold onto.

I heard him sigh, just the same as me.

"I really appreciate it that you trust me enough to tell me all this." Axel's hands were rubbing up and down on my back, and his voice was soft near my ear, "My life, on the other hand, is so boring. Normal family, no fighting, normal siblings... Do you have any siblings?"

"Not that I know of." I smiled faintly up at him, snorting at my own comment. He smiled back down at me, raising his right hand and lightly fingering my cheek:

"Now, there's that smile I've been waiting so long to see." He stared at me a moment, before shifting his eyes back and forth, looking around the room. He looked back at me and smiled that predatory smile that I first saw him smile, and his eyes held that gleam, "What do you say we watch a crappy kung-fu movie?"

I smiled for real. It wasn't huge. It just barely showed, and I'm sure Axel could see it, because he was sitting so close to me. I nodded, "yeah, that sounds great."

--

The light filtered through the window and hit my eyes, making me squint and open them. The warmth surrounding me was nothing like the warmth I felt last night when Axel was comforting me. I know that sounds incredibly corny, but I can't help it.

I mumbled something while absently reaching up and rubbing the crust out of my eyes. I yawned, glancing slowly over to where the window was. I sighed and rested my hands near my head, glancing at the tree out the window, watching as the wind slightly rustled it, as though there was nothing wrong with the world. I felt the sun warming my face and I closed my eyes to it, trying to not think about anything in particular.

My mind wouldn't have that though, because as soon as I relaxed, it asked me a question. Did Xigbar ever come back last night? That question plagued me. It's not as if I cared, I mean, Axel stayed up nearly all night with me, watching kung-fu after kung-fu movie. I sighed, wondering why in the world my chest was tightening, as I thought about Xigbar and Axel in the same sentence. I gulped again, and tilting my head into the warm sunlight, thinking yet again why in the world Axel would want to hear about my life. He had Xigbar's to hear about, not mine. I sighed, letting my mind wander to the ever-present subject of Axel.

"Roxas."

I thought it was Axel, so I didn't open my eyes. I didn't really see the need to, Axel would come in anyway, whether I spoke or not. He knew I didn't talk a lot, so he wouldn't know whether I was ready for him to come in or not. So I'm pretty sure that most of the time he would just come in.

"Roxas." I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my brows drew together just slightly. Was something wrong with his voice? It sounded so much older. Was this what he sounded like in the morning?

Plus, why didn't he just shake me awake, laughing and jeering, tugging me down to breakfast?

"Wake up."

I cracked open my eyes, blinking them a couple times as they were yet again blinded by the sun, and turned my head slowly, to look and try and see what the heck had Axel on the edge….

Too bad this man wasn't Axel. And, having been on edge nearly the past month, as you can tell from the way that I'm silent most of the time, and having been just barely able to lift a bit of the weight from my shoulders, I snapped, honestly.

My scream, to tell the truth, I was slightly proud of. Anyone with sensitive hearing within a mile radius would have their eardrums burst, and this man in front of me would probably be bleeding from the ears pretty soon, but it was a pretty nice scream. It was high-pitched, but not so much that my voice broke, and it positively reverberated off the walls.

"Roxas! Roxas, calm down!" The man was yelling at me, and I just pushed him. I scrambled away from him, my limbs getting tangled in the blankets. I fell off the bed, landing on my back, but still trying to scramble away with any leverage I had left. I looked up at the man, my back hitting the wall with a dull thunk.

"Roxas!" The door flew open and slammed against the wall. Axel stood there, his eyes wide, his chest bare because he was still in only his pajama bottoms. I looked at him with pleading eyes, my breath going rapid, as my heart when I saw how quick Axel had rushed to see if I was all right.

Axel saw the man standing there, and his body nearly radiated anger. His eyes narrowed, and his fists clenched at his sides. He was glaring a thousands daggers, and his hair almost looked like it was literally standing on end. I gulped again, my hands clenching at the carpet under my fingers, trying to hide myself within the wall, as the mysterious man and Axel had a stare down…

"Just who the hell are you?" Axel growled, taking a step into the room, his movements calculated, as though he were ready for anything at a moment's notice, "And what the hell are you doing in here?"

The man looked at me for a long moment, before turning back to the owner of the home and crossing his arms with a cocky smirk on his face, "I'm just here to see my son." He looked toward me, loosing that smirk and growing a fond smile, "Roxas is my son."

--

_Told you! Lots of plot-twists and angst. Tell me what you think, or don't, I'll appreciate it either way. _


	5. Grey, Chapter 5

_Ooh, here comes the next chapter. I hope I don't make Roxas too wimpy in this, but you understand._

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Grey, chapter 5

My mind was blank. I couldn't comprehend anything. I didn't want to think about anything, anything except Axel's hand on mine, his warmth pressed against my side as I leaned my elbows on my knees, and his careful hand rubbing calm circles on my back. I just stared at the dark stain on my mother's carpet, waiting for my mother to come back with the hot chocolate she tried to offer in order to soothe whatever problems were going on in my head. Nothing could soothe them; nothing could help with what I felt. Axel was the only one who I would allow to try…

"Honey…" She sat down on the couch, in which the strange man that I found in the guest room was sitting on the other side. My father, or should I say the man whom I thought was my father, was sitting in a chair near the door, withdrawn like always. Axel and I were sitting on the floor, near the wall, as far away from either of my parents as we could get.

My mother went on, rubbing her forehead, "Roxas … honey … are you alright?"

"No, he's not alright." Axel answered for me, glaring at my mother like she was the enemy. I knew she wasn't the one at fault here, but it felt so good to have someone actually talking back to her.

The 'father' that I found this morning glared at Axel again, much like the one he used in the guest room, "And just who do you think you are?"

"Shh…" My mother raised her hands and then calmly placed her forehead back in them, sighing as she tried to find the right words. She looked back up at me, her eyes showing the hidden guilt that I knew she had for a while. Her face was withdrawn, "Roxas…this man is right, he is your real father."

I pressed my face into my arms more, trying to hide. Trying to hide from reality? Maybe, but I was more trying to hide from everything.

"His name is Leo…" She sighed, "I called him this morning. I was going to try and put this news on you slowly, but he went ahead and did something stupid."

"Hey!" Leo growled at my mother, crossing his arms and legs at the same time. But no matter what, he'd always glare at other people, but when he looked at me his face would get this guilt-stricken sympathetic…caring look to it, "I'm Leo Harris."

I gulped and looked at my mother, "You were with my father now…when I was born."

"Yes, she was." My father that was sitting near the door stated with a glare, not moving even an inch of where he was sitting.

I shivered again, closing my eyes and clenched Axel's hand tighter. He held mine back just as hard, tilting his head down and leaning into me a little bit more. I tried to drown out the voices of my now three parents, all of them fighting over something or other. My father, not Leo, was yelling at my mother – not a real change of scene – and she was yelling back. Leo was yelling at both of them…

"STOP!"

I didn't wince, that's because I wished I were the one who said it. I just listened to the blissful silence as all my parents staring at Axel after he yelled. His voice was positively venomous, and his hand that wasn't holding mine was around my shoulder, clenching it almost painfully. His hands were warm, and that's all that really mattered.

My mother looked down at me, my nearly soulless body, my empty shell of a person, and she sighed, walking over to us. She kneeled down, her brows drawing together, her mouth drawing taught, "Honey, I was…it was a mistake."

I was jerked up. I let Axel tug me to my feet, his hand still laced with mine, and he nearly dragged me to the door. He made sure to stay close, and he stepped between me and any one of my three parents that tried to get close. He opened the door, his stance growing more and more relaxed as we exited.

He looked back as I walked forward, but stopped just as I was barely out of reach, still holding his hand. I glanced up, and I saw all three of them just standing there, wondering what in the hell Axel was doing, and that just made me look down again. They didn't know what they were doing to me…

Axel glared at them, "if it were up to me, Roxas wouldn't have any of you as parents. He isn't just some mistake that can be pushed around. Roxas isn't a mistake, do you hear me?"

Before I could argue, I found myself sitting on his couch again, my hands clasped in front of me, my eyes not leaving the carpet in front of my eyes. My shoulders weren't moving, my body filled with tension, and I had a good reason to. Axel, having been my saving grace for nearly two weeks now, had just heard all of that from my 'parents'. What would I get? Pity? Guilt? Sorrow?

"What in the hell, Roxas!" Axel yelled, making me look up into his flaming green eyes. His lips were drawn taught, and his fists were shaking near his sides, "Why can't you stick up for yourself! I know you're going through a hard time, but don't tell me you can really just sit there and watch your parents fight over you like that!"

I just gulped, not being able to tear my eyes away from him. I couldn't. His eyes were trapping me, much like his eyes had done so many times before. I never realized how much power a single look from Axel had over me. If he was feeling bad for me, I felt as though I should try and do better in my family so that I wouldn't have to see that sad look on his face anymore.

But now, he was angry. He was really angry.

"God dammit, Roxas." Axel turned around and put his hand on his forehead, growling deep in his throat and trying to hold back his burning fury, of which was growing in the pit of his stomach, "Why…. how can you just sit there? Finding out that your father isn't actually your father? How can you just sit there all calmly and just take it?"

I kept my mouth clamped shut, just staring at him through my sandy locks, watching as he growled. He sounded somewhat like a bear, the growl coming deep from within his throat and turning into a yell. He turned on me, glaring at me, his teeth now bared and his arms splayed out, "Say something, Roxas!"

I gulped, looking quickly back down at my hands, taking a deep breath and trying to find the right words that would help me explain something…. or anything I was going through to him. I looked up at him, "Everything you heard was true, Axel. But I didn't yell at them because I knew it wouldn't do any good. Me yelling at them would just end up in them yelling at each other. I can hardly take two of my parents fighting."

I sighed and leaned forward, taking deep breaths as I tried to calm myself down. My voice was scratchy, because this is the most I'd used it in a long time, "I've tried getting mad at them, I've tried talking to them, but all they ever do is stop fighting for a week at most, and then something happens and they fall right back into their old routine."

"But you could do something now." Axel crossed his arms and backed up until he was sitting on the couch across from the one I was sitting in, "You could do something. Tell them to get a divorce. Tell them that you'll move out. You're old enough. Tell them something they don't want to hear."

I looked up at him, just barely tilting my head towards him, my brows drawing together, "I could never do something like that. All my mother has ever been is good to me."

Axel sighed and rubbed his forehead again, "Good to you, Roxas? How has she been good to you? She put you through all of this, that is nearly the opposite of good to you."

I winced, gulping, looking up at him through my bangs. I couldn't help it, I had to look at him, and I had to wonder what he thought. I nodded, looking back down at my hands. I sighed, bringing my hands up to string them through my hair, sighing and leaning more onto my knees, "I can't…I love my mother so much. I know that my mother hasn't been the best…but I can't…I just…"

I growled and let out a long breath, "I just want to scream. I want to pull out all their hair. I just want…"

Axel sighed and looked down.

There was an eerie silence in the room, and I had to gulp, my mind racing to try and think of something to come up with. But all my mind was doing was telling me to get up. I did. Axel didn't notice because I had no shoes on, and he was in his own little world right now. His hands were clasped in front of him, resting against his forehead. I moved slowly, moving my feet calculatingly, scooting around the couch. I walked backwards, staring at Axel as I did, then I turned around quickly and skittered toward the door, closing my eyes as I made it through the entry way.

I threw open the door, and I didn't bother closing it as I ran down the stairs, and thinking that I would maybe turn towards the strip mall, so that I could maybe go and hide in the abandoned building. But no, my feet ignored my mind and took me down towards my house, my legs pumping faster and faster as I neared my house. I saw my mother sitting on the porch, one father on each side of her.

I nearly tripped as I ran up the walk to them, and stood there, panting as I glared down at them. They didn't notice me, because much like Axel, they were all off in their own little world. I clenched my hands, glaring down at them. What was it with people and suddenly ignoring me?

"I'm not an item!" I yelled, my voice being much louder than I thought it would be. I watched as they all jumped and looked up at me, being surprised as I felt, "I'm not a damn little naïve kid that can't tell left from right. I can hear you all the time. I can hear you blaming every little problem on me. And you know what? I believe you!"

I saw my mother covering her mouth in shock, and even my father looked ashamed. 'Leo' sent skeptical looks towards my mother and my father, and then looked back at me.

I took a deep breath, tilting my head to the side and closing my eyes. I flayed my arms out, and I drew my brows together, wondering why in the hell they did this to me, "Did you not know I was right upstairs? I mean seriously, are you that _dense_? I want to hate you guys so much, but I can't! I feel as if I should just live by myself because then I wouldn't have to listen to you guys every night!"

"No, please, honey." My mother looked at me, her mouth still partially covered by her hand. She looked as though she was about to cry, and that struck guilt in my heart. I immediately regretted what I'd just said, and my anger sifted through my hand like water. I looked at her, though I wasn't saying anything.

She looked up at me, and looked down again, "You'll have to only choose one of us to live with. Your father and I…we're getting a divorce. I've already told you this, as you remember. You can stay at your friends a while, right, while we get this settled, right?"

It was as if there was a strange transformation. My anger may have sifted through my hands like water, but it came back just as quick. It wasn't just that my mother decided on a whim to tell me that their divorce was nearly done, and it wasn't that my mother wanted me to choose between parents, and it wasn't just that she said it right out like that. It wasn't any of those.

She didn't know Axel's name. I'd been friends with Axel for weeks now, and I'd talked about him constantly, but she didn't pay attention enough to know Axel's name. She didn't know his damn name.

"Roxas." Leo, whom noticed my returning anger, put in, "I'll also be fighting for your custody."

I looked at him with shocked eyes, and he just stared at me with serious ones. I was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about, but my other father chimed in before I could.

He looked at me and clenched his hands, which were resting on his knees, and he had that hard look in his eyes, "but Roxas…"

I looked at him, much along with Leo and my mom. They must've not known about his statement that he was about to say:

"Roxas, I wont be asking for your custody."

--

I sighed, trying in vein to scoot myself further into my little corner. I heard the small feet of rodents scurrying near my feet, but even they were too scared to come near me. I had my headphones over my ears. I'd gotten new ones.

I had my knees pulled all the way up to my chest, and my chin was rested on them. I was just staring into the wood, trying in vein to get my thoughts away from my parents. My feet were once again cut, and I'm sure that they were going to scar now. I was cold, because there was a chilly breeze blowing in from the outside. I gulped, turning the volume up on my music player, but no matter what I couldn't drown out the sound of my blood pumping through my veins. I could feel my body pulse with every beat of my heart, and with every beat my heart hurt. But I couldn't feel that over the numb feeling in my brain.

I could see my breath in the growing December air, and Goosebumps were growing along my arms. I stared at it, my breath I mean. I stared at it dissipate in front of my eyes, and I watched it twirl much like smoke. I closed my eyes and sighed, gulping again and hearing the wind blow in my ears as the song changed. I twiddled my toes and licked my lips.

A sudden force pulled my headphones out of my ears, and I looked up. I flinched when I saw Axel standing there, but I saw that coming. I breathed out and stared into his eyes, of which were staring into mine in turn, but with concern.

He snorted a bit, "You gonna freeze out here."

I couldn't even crack a smile. I couldn't do much of anything. Axel was right. All I ever did was just sit there and feel bad for myself. I sighed and nodded at him, moving my arms from around my knees and putting them on the ground, pushing myself upward.  
Axel's hands on my arms helped me get steady, and I looked up at him, wondering what he would do now. Did he hear what I said to my parents? Did he see any of that? Did he know that I did exactly what he said for me to do, and got it pushed right back at me? My father...  
"My father's not fighting for custody." I sighed, walking past Axel and past the blue tarp that I've grown used to seeing, "But my mother and Leo are."

Axel's hand on my shoulder calmed me, and I looked up at him, glaring slightly. I had a feeling that he knew I wasn't glaring at him; I was glaring at everything else. I was glaring at my mother, father…Leo. I squinted, "I think you're right…I don't care if they all fight for custody…I think I'll tell them to just…"

"Piss off?" Axel looked at me with that great smile on his face, his eyes widened and happy, "go screw themselves? Get lives? Are you really going to tell them off?"

I looked at him and cracked a smile; smaller than the other one I'd shown him…was that yesterday? But anyway, he smiled back. I nodded slowly, looking forward and seeing my mother and fathers in the distance, yelling at each other on the lawn.

I couldn't fight off a shiver, and that only caused Axel to put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him and gaining heat. I sighed, looking up at him longingly. Didn't he know that every time he hugged me or threw his arm around me casually that my heart would either race or skip a beat?

No. I sighed and looked forward, clearing my thoughts as we crossed the street. I don't think he would know. I felt myself smiling as I leaned against him, actually looking forward to the plan of living by myself. I probably could fend for myself; all I needed to do was find a job. That couldn't be too hard, what with the growing number of places needing employees.

I closed my eyes and found myself smiling into the sky, and I felt Axel's hand tighten on my shoulder, and I knew that he was smiling too.

The past few weeks, if I had any friends, they'd probably have been calling me 'emo' the past few weeks. That term was so crude, but I knew I was probably acting as though I were. I'm even surprised that Axel hasn't gotten sick of me yet…I'm surprised he's stuck with me throughout all of this.

There I go, being all 'emo' again.

--

I looked at my breath again, staring at it.

My mother was out, getting milk and bread. I'd just told her that I thought it was time for me to live by myself, and she actually smiled and agreed. She thought that I was old enough to start making my own choices. I smiled with her, and we'd actually hugged. It was a warm hug, and my father's were watching too, each of them in shock.

Leo was outraged to say the least. He says he came all the way down here to see the son he never knew, and didn't get custody. He eventually laughed it off.

Things were…. they were going so strangely. Nothing ever went this smoothly in my life. Nothing ever went this good when I was involved. Everything that happened to me turned out like shit eventually, but I don't want to jinx this. I was actually smiling again, and Axel was hanging out with me more. Ever since two days ago that I'd talked to him about telling my parents what was on my mind, he hadn't let me have my space.

Not that I wanted it, my space I mean, it's just that he was constantly hanging out with me. I couldn't deal with having my heart jump every time our shoulders brushed, so I eventually ended up telling him something about having to be home.

I was smiling, looking out at the snow falling. It was so beautiful now, especially with the winter just barely coming through. I was lying on my carpet, my legs and arms spread, a warm smile on my face as I felt the cool breeze come in from the window. That, combined with the heating system, felt like the most blissful thing imaginable.

I jerked up when I heard the door slam open, bouncing off the wall with a loud bang and flying back a foot toward the person who threw it open. I sat up and looked at them with wide eyes, only wondering for a second who would do this, before I actually saw the person.

It was Leo, or my real father, I should say. He was just standing there, his breath coming out in ragged pants. His shirtfront was covered in a dark foreign substance, and his face was smeared in it, and running down his face and down his hands. His eyes were filled with fear, and he was trembling harder than a leaf. His breath was visible in the air, and he looked in pain, like a mere breath would cause him to hurt.

"Roxas." He held out his hand, shaking it urgently, beckoning me forward, "Roxas, come with me right now. It's your mother. She was in a car accident and taken by helicopter to Sacred Bellaire hospital."

My heart was near to stopping.

That was blood, covering nearly every inch of his body.

--

"Axel…" Reno peeked in, his eyes shallow and withdrawn. He could feel the sad atmosphere all around today, it was in the air. He was contemplating walking over to Roxas's, but every time he got near that house, the premonition would get the better of him, and he'd end up turning around and nearly sprinting back to his brothers house.

He was getting some seriously bad vibes from that house. Every time he walked toward it, it was like the walkway was stretching longer and longer, and the trees would bend and cover him, the darkness growing and the snow disappearing into nothingness as it got nearer to the ground.

Placing his hand on the window, Reno realized he had crossed the room, and he stared outside at the vines crawling up the doorways.

"What do you mean?" He heard Axel behind him, and only glanced. He saw his brother pacing in front of the photograph Roxas didn't like, and holding a cell phone to his ear tightly. His knuckles were turning white, and Axel's eyes were clenched tightly shut, his breathing becoming heavy.

Axel shook his head, "Xig, no. Xig! I don't care! What are- no! Xig! No, please don't! Xigbar! What are you saying? Don't bring him into this!"

Reno turned around fully, barely raising his brows slightly. His brother never fought with Xigbar. Xigbar was his boyfriend for nearly a year now…they never fought. Yet now, here they were, fighting over the phone, no less.

"No, Xigbar!" Axel stared at the phone, his boyfriend obviously having hung up. His hand was over his mouth, and his eyes were clenched shut again. He was muttering random curses under his breath, and his feet had yet to stop from moving about the room. He snapped his phone shut and stared at it a moment, as if the small little red object would hold all the answers for everything. Reno knew subconsciously what had happened between his bother and Xigbar, but deep down he knew he couldn't find it in himself to care. He never liked Xigbar…

"God dammit!" Axel's body swung backwards, and his arm rose above his head as he catapulted the phone across the room, sending it slamming into the wall.

--

The doctor chewed on the tip of his pen, his brows drawn together as he stared down at the chart in his hands. I could tell that he was nervous, because that was usually what people where when they nearly destroyed the end of their writing utensil with their teeth. The walls were white, checkered with soft lavender, as were the floors but darker purple and they were carpet, instead of tile. There were a few chairs scattered around, and the nurses' station was sitting there, in front of a hallway that the doctors were walking down.

This was the Intensive Care Unit, and this was the doctor. My eyes unconsciously were drawn to the doctor's nametag, just in case I later needed to yell something after a profanity. I was standing next to my fake father, and Leo was standing on the other side, having been given a pair of scrubs he could change into.

The only reason he actually changed was because I threw up after getting out of the car, after he drove us the twenty-five miles to the hospital.

"Okay." The doctor, Dr. Vincent Valentine, a name that somewhere deep in my heart I found wasn't worthy for a doctor that was looking after my mother. It was just deep-seeded anger and sorrow that I felt this, but I'm sure that my fathers' were thinking the same thing about a doctor by the name of Dr. Valentine, "Well, Mrs. Broosh is faring alright, she's in surgery as we speak."

I couldn't hold back a snort (Leo beside me didn't hold back a cynical one) at the complete paradox in that sentence. How could anyone be 'faring alright' if she was in surgery, and they were standing in the ICU?

"She didn't suffer extremely serious injuries, not including the punctured and collapsed lung, resulting in slight infection. She's in surgery for her thigh, which was punctured by the broken handle of the steering wheel when the air bag went off. We'll be able to save her leg, but she'll need to go through intensive physical therapy for that. She's suffered a major concussion, and a smaller minor one. Other than that, she'll be fine, a few fractured bones, but other than that." He shrugged, flipping the chart closed and tilting his head to the side, trying to pull off a nice smile. He really couldn't do it, because you could tell he'd rather be doing much other things that what he was doing right now. I could tell by the way he kept glancing at the clock.

I gulped, trying to keep down the growing nausea in my stomach. An extreme sense of vertigo surrounded me, and it was as if I couldn't stand on my own two legs. The doctor may have said that this stuff wasn't that extreme, but I couldn't help but imagine my mother lying there, and Leo covered in her blood.

I needed to throw up again.

"Come on Roxas," Leo rested his hand on my shoulder, steering me toward the doorway. Even though I really thought he didn't like me anymore, I heard my father tell the doctor to call him if anything happened, and followed us out, even offering his support by putting his arm around my shoulders.

--

_Whaddaya think? XP_


	6. Grey, Chapter 6

_This is the last chapter, but not to worry, there is going to be an epilogue. _

--

Grey, Chapter 6

I let my hand rest on the wood, my breathing trying to even itself out, even if I really didn't care. My fathers had dropped me off here, before heading to the house to gather a few of my mother's things to take back to the hospital. They told me that I could come here because Axel was here, and he would be able to look after me at the moment.

I raised my other hand to calmly press the bell, an odd sense of calm sweeping over my body. I couldn't bring myself to cry, because it was as if my mind didn't fully comprehend the whole situation.

My body was on fire, my throat was on fire, my head was on fire, and it felt as though I couldn't move. All I could think of was my mother, her face, and her blood on Leo's shirt. If that was even her blood. I have to think on the positive side…what if that wasn't her blood? Leo was with her in the car when she got in the accident, how was he not hurt? Maybe it was someone else's blood…

The door was thrown open, and that made me almost have a violent flashback of when Leo was at the door. I looked up and saw Axel standing in the doorway, a barely concealed look of anger on his face. Reno was standing further in the house behind him, in the living room, a look of almost terror on his face. Axel held the door open with a shaking hand, and his toes were flexing on the wood as he stared down at me.

Compared to that look, the entryway that Axel was standing in was nothing. That look alone almost made me forget my mother…what had made Axel so angry? I shuddered nervously on the gravel walk, and looked up at him with my hands clenched in front of my stomach.

"What?" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, breathing heavily trough his teeth, staring down at me with angry eyes. I couldn't tell if those eyes were angry with me, but looking past the taller figure at Reno, I could see in the younger brothers eyes a warning to leave.

I looked up at him again, searching his eyes for any sign that he wanted me here, "I was just wondering … do you want to hang out … or something … umm … something happened…and…"

He suddenly growled and pushed me further away from his house, slamming the door shut behind him. I almost fell off the steps, but I caught myself and clenched my hands tighter, looking around at the grass and the ivy, wondering if this was some kind of sick and demented joke. Just like the ones Axel and his family pull sometimes, and here I was, waiting for them to jump out and yell 'got 'cha!'

"Something happened, Roxas?" Axel's voice was full of heart-wrenchingly sad fury, as opposing as that sounds, it was true, "You know what? Something happened to me too. I bet you were waiting for the day something would happen to me."

I gaped up at him, opening and closing my mouth to try and say something, but nothing more that squeaks came out of my mouth.

"Xigbar broke up with me." Axel laughed cynically, glaring down at me, not even noticing the way I was nearly shaking like a leaf, "And do you know why he broke up with me?" his anger wasn't directed at me, but at everything in general, "Because of you. Not you in general, but the way I always hung out with you. I started spending more time with you, than with him, how could I have done that?"

I shook my head, backing up and taking a step down the stairs, watching as he continued on his rant. I felt as though my heart was being torn from my body. I couldn't watch as another person blamed me for something, not another thing. I couldn't listen as someone yelled, and that yelling was because of me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't goddamn take it!

I turned around sharply, nearly falling off the steps as I did, hearing his voice catch. I ran with all my power, barely hearing him call out my name in something akin to sorrow in his voice, but I didn't want to hear it.

I was sick and tired of everyone always blaming things on me. Not everything was my damn fault! It wasn't just me!

My legs were burning, but I hadn't run that far. I think it's because I might've tripped on the way to my house. I couldn't remember if my life depended on it. I can't remember getting here, I can't remember seeing my fathers or anything. All I remember is that running was a haze of agony, and that wasn't because all my muscles were burning. Only one. My heart hurt more than I could imagine, I didn't even know something could hurt this bad.

My feet were warm against the soft carpet of my room, the cool carpet. I'd left the window open, hoping that there would be a cool draft to maybe cool down my room a bit. But now there were miniscule patches of frost over my carpet, and nothing looked warm. I didn't bother closing the window as I stumbled my way over to my unwelcoming bed. Everything looked as cold as my heart, and I just stood there, until my body wouldn't support me anymore.

I collapsed on my bed, just barely reaching out to grasp my blanket and pull it over me with any power I had. I only had enough energy to pull it over my hips, before my arms quit on me. My mind was still racing, and I knew that if I fell asleep my mind would be plagued with dreams of my mother and of Axel.

I gasped for breath, and I wanted to cry so badly, but I couldn't.

--

Gojyo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He'd just barely stepped out of his car before a certain blonde rushed past him. He didn't really know what was going on, but if Roxas was running _away _from his son's house, then that certainly wasn't a good thing. What did his idiot of a son do now? No one will know, but Gojyo was certain that he would have to have a little bit of a talk with him.

He shivered and pulled his deep green jacket over himself more, shuffling his feet on the snow-covered ground. It was beautiful this time of year, and that especially showed in this neighborhood. The snow was covering the houses and trees in such a way that it could be on a Hallmark Card.

But that wasn't what Gojyo was here for. He was here to just drop in on his son, after having heard that Axel and Xigbar broke up. Okay, maybe Gojyo wouldn't have to have a talk with his son about Roxas just yet, because heaven knows that the blonde had a little doing in his son's break-up.

A cold breeze blew and he looked down at the blonde's house, still standing there out in the snow, wondering what he could say to his son. He was about to look back toward the house, walk in, make some hot chocolate, and comfort his son in the traditional family way. He was going to move, because avoiding the inevitable was not good for you, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

He looked over and smiled warmly when he saw a woman standing there, obviously one of Axel and Roxas's neighbors. She looked no older than thirty, and very kind, and if you looked hard you could see a small child hiding behind her legs.

"Are you the father of the boy that lives here?" She looked pointedly at his son's house, and that look of scorn on her face was strange, because Gojyo was sure she was a nice woman. She tilted her head to the side, "Axel, I think his name is?"

Gojyo nodded, turning out of politeness to listen to her, "yes, I am. Why?"

She sighed and twisted around, looking down at her son, smiling warmly as she patted him on the head, "Honey, go over and play with Tommy, okay?"

The boy looked up at her with a big and not to mention adorable smile, and ran through the snow with a giggle, strait to the house next to Axel's. The woman smiled fondly after the boy for a moment, before looking back up at Gojyo, this time not wearing that hard scowl. Her face was just…sad.

"I saw your son yelling at Roxas a moment ago." She crossed her arms, not in arrogance, but due to the harsh breeze that suddenly blew, "I'm not complaining or anything, Axel has been an extremely good friend to Roxas these past few weeks."

Gojyo smiled warmly, tilting his head to the side and sighing, "Yeah, he won't stop talking about him."  
The woman warmed up a little, her smile growing on her face, and she looked as though she were about to get on the subject of Axel, but her smile faded. Her face grew sad again, and Gojyo was about to ask what was the matter, when she went on, "Roxas … Roxas has been having a really hard time with his family these days. You know?"

"Yeah." Gojyo sighed and nodded knowingly, his cheeks reddening as the harsh wind bit at them, and his hands which he was now hastily shoving in his pockets, "What, with his parents getting a divorce, his real father showing up, and all that piling up over the weeks, I don't know how he takes it."

She nodded, rubbing at her cheeks, laughing a sad chuckle her hair flowing in the wind as she shook it, "But now? I don't know how he doesn't just drop down and give up. What, with what happened recently."

Gojyo stopped for a second, then looked at her with a skeptical eye, raising an eyebrow, his voice wavering as he hoped he was right in assuming what she was talking about, "You mean the encounter with Axel, right?"

She shook her head slowly, and opened her mouth to correct him, but then it hit her. She looked up at him with wide eyes, which were now slightly watering, just barely realizing, "You don't know, do you?"

Gojyo looked at her, his teeth clenching, his own eyes widening as thoughts sifted through his brain as endless possibilities of what could have happened went through his mind, "What? What happened?"

"His mother was in a horrible car accident." She broke the eye contact she had with him, looking down at the snow with great sorrow in her eyes and voice, "She's still in Intensive Care, so far as I know. The fathers just recently went back out to the hospital to take back a few things of hers. The doctor said she was okay, but that's just because Roxas was there. I talked to Leo a moment ago; he said the doctor talked to him alone. She'd be lucky if she made it through the night."

Gojyo's hands dropped, and his eyes watered as they widened, his breath hitching in his throat. He couldn't feel the cold breeze he just thought was annoying, and he felt as though his heart was going to stop.

Before the woman in front of him could even say anything, he was turning around in a fury, picking up his speed as he nearly stomped toward his son's house. Screw Axel being dumped by Xigbar, Gojyo would have that talk with his son _now _if he didn't punch him in the face first.

Gojyo threw open the door to his son's house, stamping through the entry way and dining area to the living room, not caring if he was getting mud or anything on the carpet. His piercing red eyes searched the living room until he spotted one of his sons sitting on the couch with his knees drawn into his chest. This wasn't the son he wanted to see though, but he was going to bring Reno with him, he needed to know too.

"Reno, where's Axel." His voice was laced with disappointment, and he watched as his son look up at him, noticing his anger. Reno seemed to be in no different a mood than he was, and he only stood up and grumbled an answer in the form of 'kitchen'.

Axel was leaning against the counter, his face contorted in sorrow as he stared at the ground, his fingers twitching, his feet sliding back and forth. Gojyo watched for a moment, and then walked up to him, taking a breathing moment to make sure he didn't lash out in a way a father shouldn't.

"Axel, I don't care for explanations." Gojyo clenched Axel's shoulder painfully, causing his son's gaze to shoot up and his breath to catch, "Now, I don't care what the hell you say right now, we are going to Roxas's right now."

Axel shook his head, shrugging his shoulder out of Gojyo's hand, "No, I can't go see him right now, dad."

Gojyo growled and wrenched his son's shoulder again, making Axel look at him, "Axel, listen to me. Roxas's mother was just in a car accident and probably won't make it through the night. Roxas was probably trying to tell you when he came over."

"_I was just wondering … do you want to hang out … or something … umm … something happened…and…"_

"Oh god." Axel breathed deep, not even arguing as he followed.

--

I wish I charged my Mp3 player last night, so that I could cover up this silence with something. I couldn't take it, I couldn't take the silence. It was as if it were taunting me, yelling at me, laughing at me. The wind coming through the window above my head was throwing the snowflakes in intricate positions, making it look as though the snow were dancing.

I breathed out, my mind running over my mother. Was she alright? She wouldn't want me to be wasting away here. But that's all that I've been doing lately…wasting away.

I want to see Axel. I want to see him so baldy. I want to be in his arms, I want to feel his warmth surrounding me. His soothing voice wafting through my senses so that I could feel nothing. All I wanted to feel was him, because he always made me feel better.

I loved him.

"Roxas…"

I half expected it to be my mother, but I knew it couldn't be. But the voice was soft and soothing, just like hers. Next in my mind was Axel, because he always found a way to show up at the last minute and comfort me. Oh, how I wished it was him. Almost as much as I wished it was my mother.

"It's Gojyo, Roxas." His palm was calmly rubbing my arm now, and I didn't even realize he was holding my arm. I opened my eyes to look at him, glancing up with what I was sure was an ugly-looking face. His eyes were full of pain, for me no less. I closed my eyes again and dug my face into my pillow, not wanting to face him.

I felt his hand still, and I knew he was giving me a sympathetic smile, "Hey, don't give me that look. Now, you're coming over. You shouldn't be alone."

I know. I didn't want to be alone. That's why I didn't even argue. If anything, I could get Reno to cry on, he would always let me. I didn't even have to look at Axel, I didn't even have to remember what he said to me.

"Dad, we should hurry. It looks as if it's getting pretty bad outside." I heard a shallow and withdrawn voice, and it sounded as if that person just wanted to go outside in the raging snow and never come out.

I felt my feet hit the cold wood of my floor, and I pushed myself up with some help from Gojyo. I couldn't find the strength in me to even stand on my own two feet, let alone bring my eyes up to see who was talking.

Another reason I couldn't look up to see is because I already knew.

"How long has it been since you've eaten something?" Gojyo looked me over, and I just brought me eyes up to glance at him, before wearily looking back down at the ground. He didn't wait for my answer before he turned to another one of his sons and speaking in a soft but harsh tone, "Reno, run home and start cooking something. Anything we have, Top Ramen, left-overs, anything."

"'Kay." I heard him running down the hallway and I forgot he was even there as Gojyo looped an arm under mine, making me hold onto his shoulders. I walked, and I didn't lean on him as much as I thought I would. I felt someone on the other side of me, and his familiar warm hands made me shiver.

"Roxas…I…" His voice was eerie, as though he would never be happy again. My voice was more often than not that tone, and I didn't like hearing it on anyone else, let alone him.

I sighed, "Not now…" I shook my head and struggled to walk, "Let's just get to your house, okay?"  
He was shocked by my bravery at the statement, because usually I wouldn't say something like that. I was usually soft spoken. He shook his head, and I watched him do it. I watched him reach out for me take my elbow in his hand, and his warm skin on mine was already making me feel better.

He drew me to him, pulling me softly into his arms, shaking his head still. I tried to pull away, but he held me tightly. I felt my eyes watering, and my feet shuffled closer to him against my will.

"No, I'm not going to go away. I want to tell you…" Axel leaned down and rubbed his cheek against the side of my head, "I'm so sorry. That's not nearly enough, but I cant…I can't even put into words how sorry I am."

I struggled, my body shaking almost violently. I felt as though my whole being would crumble under him, and all he would do was look at me with those eyes of his, staring at me from the darkness. I felt breathless, I couldn't breathe, and I felt as though all my worries were going to spill from me. And they were going to spill from me in the only way they could.

"I can't deal with this!" I yelled, gripping his shirt tightly within my white knuckles. He wasn't shocked by my outburst; it was almost as if he was expecting it, "I can't deal with this anymore! I can't! Everything that's happening! I don't want to live with Leo, I don't want to live with my father, I don't want to do anything anymore!"

Axel was whispering sweet soothing words into my ear as I sobbed horribly into his chest. It was horrible, gasping breaths, horrible sounds and wrenching tears. It hurt, to say the least.

"Shh, Roxas." Axel was patting my back as I continued to rant on. The warmth of him made me want to cry, especially compared to the cold I've just spent the last few hours in. His voice was drifting over me like a warm swift of water, and once again, against my will, I felt as if everything would be okay.

My heart was pounding in my chest so loudly that I was surprised that he couldn't hear it. Every inch of my skin that he was touching felt like it was burning, but I never felt so good.

His voice hitched, and his body tensed. If anything, he held me tighter than before, and I only wanted him closer. Nothing around us mattered anymore, just him and me. I couldn't remember why I was mad at him before, but I automatically put together that it was something stupid and trivial.

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you." His voice was wavering, and his lips brushed against my cheek, "I have my own problems, and you don't need to hear them. You have enough of your own."

I laughed, it was harsh and cold, but it was a laugh none-the-less. I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow, which must have looked weird against my blotchy red eyes and the tears running over my flushed cheeks, "I don't blame you, though."

He chocked again, pulling me closer into an even tighter hug. I dug my face into his neck, letting out a shaky breath.

I felt his lips against my skin, right next to my nose. I could feel his smile, and against my will, there was one growing on my own face. Everything would be all right. Although the thought of my mother made my heart ache, I knew that everything would be all right. She would pull through this, just like she'd pulled through everything else in her life. She'd had more trouble than I've had, probably twice as more than me, and she still pulled through it.

She was a tough woman, and she had passed that onto me when she gave me life those years ago. When I was born… I pulled through having an invisible father, and having a mother that worked more than she should. She pulled through that, and I managed to do the same. I pulled through school… middle school, and I was pulling through high school.

She could do it, and so could I. I could try.

I was strong. I need to keep telling myself that. I can do this.

I could be strong, for my mother. I could be strong…

For Axel.

-End-

--

_I know I stopped off abruptly, but I thought that this would be a good place to end. And Like I said, there is going to be an epilogue, and I hope that people will review enough so that I get motivated into making a sequel...(Heck, I might even make one if I DON'T get a lot of reviews. _


	7. Epilogue

**Hello, Epilogue here! I hope you like it, it's almost disastrously short. **

--

_"Sorry to bother you, but would you mind helping me?"_

If someone were to tell me that I would be standing at my mother's grave in a matter of weeks after her car accident, I would tell him or her they were lying.

Because that isn't what happened.

Here, after, I'd have to say, one month of intensive physical therapy, she was walking around (in short sprits) and talking (sometimes), and laughing (once). The trial is in a couple days, and true to his word, my fake father is probably going to be there just to watch, he wont fight for me. Leo is going to fight hard, using the fact that he was the biological father to his defense. He's also going to use my mother to his defense. He's going to say that a mother like that can't support a child. A mother that can barely support herself can't support a child.

So, here I am, fatherless for the time being, but happier than I've ever been in my life. I'm more scared than I'd ever been, but I can't help it. I may loose my mother forever. I try not to think about it, seeing as the mere thought of never being able to see my mother whenever I wanted to. Even the usual shared custody would be weird, I couldn't be with my mother for only a weekend out of two weeks.

I couldn't go without seeing _Axel _for that long. I would only be able to see him at those times…

Seeing as Xigbar is out of Axel's life as well, that just added the small little cherry to the top of my cake. I found myself smiling more, and with every smile, the warmth in my heart grew.

But it was only Axel's touches, Axel's smiles, and Axel's warmth that could completely melt the barrier around my heart. He was spending nearly every second of his time with me again; he was even starting to tell his little brother to stop hanging off me all the time. It was warming, having someone actually care for me. Enough to tell their own brother to 'stop hanging off him you geek! Go play some video games, or hang out with your latest posse of chickens! He doesn't want the attention!'

But Reno eventually stopped all together, soon after getting smitten over a new storeowner named Rude. Rude had started a small diner, right where my old hideout was. The hole-in-the wall vacant store was rented out to him, and soon he owned the whole plot, but he left the little indent in the corner. The huge gap in the floor of the far right corner; I'd still hide there sometimes.

(_Of course, after seeing a rat run near my feet when I was hiding there once, he decided that he was going to 'renovate' the ditch. No more rats, soft padding on the ground, and a small table to hold a drink.) _

My mom just so happened to quit all her jobs, even her new one. I never thought to ask her why she quit them, and she never thought to tell me. She got a job at that new Café. That would help in her case against Leo, which would help in her winning me. I'd never seen her happier, then when she's in the diner, and seeing her like that made my life worth living again. Well, it helped to say the least; it was a certain redhead that pushed the final rung in getting my real smile back.

Axel's father came over to check on my mother and me more than once, and more than once he'd brought the entire family with him. Cloud and Leon were thinking of adopting a new member into their family, and they had their hearts set on a small little boy by the name of Seifer. Yuffie was doing well in her business of hair supplies, and Tifa was the founder of new computer software. Demyx, on the other hand, wasn't being seen much by the family, seeing as he was the one that Xigbar left Axel for.

But now, everything was okay, and once again I found myself lying in the middle of my living room, my back to the warm hardwood. I was smiling, letting the warm rays of sunlight filter through the window and warm my body.

"So, this is fun and all, but are we just going to sit were and get our tan on all day?" I smiled at the playful note in Axel's voice. I knew that he wanted to do other things, but I couldn't help but want to stay here and just enjoy his presence.

Axel rolled to his side and propped his head up with his arm, splaying his fingers over his hip and raising an eyebrow at me. He had that predatory smile on his face, though it had changed over the past months. It had become softer, more protective, and slightly more warming, "Really, what are we going to do?"

I looked at him, smiling, though my smiles still weren't big, and some of them still had trouble reaching my eyes, "Want to go down to the diner?"

"And watch Reno and Rude make out? No way!" He smirked and leaned in to me, his breath smelling of cinnamon, "I'd much rather do…other things."  
I rolled my eyes and pushed myself into a sitting position, looking down at him, "You really have a one track mind."

"I can't help myself when I'm around you!" Axel smirked yet again, looking like he was just about ready to follow me in standing up.

I stood slowly, standing and stretching my back much like a cats. I looked at him, surprised to see that he'd already gotten up and was closer to me than before.

I smirked, "Let's just go and see what mom is doing."

He rolled his eyes, but he followed me anyway. Out of the house, down the street to the intersection, crossing the red light and yelling at me for stepping out in front of a car, and patting my bottom as we crossed the doorway into the diner.

To 'Shades of Grey'; a strange name for a diner.

Nothing else could fit it better.

_"Oh, my name's Axel by the way. A-X-E-L. Yours is…?"_

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**Yes, short, but I'm going to write a sequel. That, unlike this one, is unwritten, so it may take a bit longer than this one did. I hope you like this one! And, like this one, I'm going to make a sequel and update it whether people review or not. But I'd really like them...**


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